_B._Monkey_ (R) ** (out of ****)
He is Alan (Jared Harris), elementary school teacher by day, volunteer hospital disc jockey by night. She is Beatrice (Asia Argento), who, when not sitting at a desk for a nondescript company, is the best jewel thief in London. Somehow, some way, these two fall in love. Which leads to the question--why?
_B._Monkey_, named for the heroine's criminal moniker, only satisfactorily answers one half of that question. It is easy to see why Alan would be so taken with Beatrice when he first spots her in a pub--she is an exotic Italian beauty, and the sexy spunk that Alan discovers once he gets to know her just adds to her allure. In a sense, it is also fairly easy to understand why Beatrice would initially be drawn to Alan. Tired of the criminal life, Beatrice wants to go straight, and the square Alan presents the ultimate act of rebellion against rebellion.
Their romance shows Beatrice the joy of a normal life, but it does not convince the audience quite so easily. Chalk it up to Alan and Harris' dry portrayal--he's nice and stable, all right, but did he have to be so boring? Beatrice's relationship with Alan may be more functional than that with her former roommates and partners-in-crime, drug dealer Paul (Rupert Everett) and his lover Bruno (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), but it's also considerably less interesting.
So it's no surprise that _B._Monkey_ springs back to life whenever Paul and Bruno reenter the picture, and when Beatrice's ties with them pulls her back into the game. Of course, she goes along with it with great reluctance and hates every minute. However, it would have been more compelling if scripters Michael Thomas and Chloe King added a bit more conflict--that is, when put back in the pressure cooker, Beatrice felt some of the thrill that kept her in crime for so long. One would think she would, yet she doesn't, completely "cured" by Alan's love.
_B._Monkey_, director Michael Radford's follow-up to 1995's _Il_Postino_, had been sitting on Miramax's shelf for the better part of two years, and that's more than likely due to the film's many differences with that beloved Oscar-winner. Aside from the obvious differences in tone and style, it is also, quite simply, just not nearly as effective a love story; it's a cold piece of machinery from a filmmaker whose last film moviegoers recall with great warmth.
Michael Dequina twotrey@juno.com | michael_jordan@geocities.com | jordan_host@sportsmail.com | mrbrown@iname.com Mr. Brown's Movie Site: http://welcome.to/mrbrown CompuServe Hollywood Hotline: http://www.HollywoodHotline.com on ICQ: #25289934 | on AOL Instant Messenger: MrBrown23
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