Star Wars Episode1: The Phantom Menace (4/10)
23rd July 1999: Cineworld, Bristol
Written and directed by George Lucas. What a scary credit. Who was going to take his lordship to one side and have a quiet word? "Now I hope you don't mind me saying this Mr. Lucas, sir... but, well, ummmm.... this whole story is crap and there are no decent characters in it."
The film (which his Georgeness has decreed shall at all times be referred-to by its full title of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace) has plenty of computer generated material that is very impressive, especially the spectacular italian-oriental panoramas of the planet Naboo, the many sequences featuring the evil Trade Federation's robot troops and guards, and the zoo-load of new creatures. Having seen him in the trailers, I was not looking forward to getting to know Jar Jar Binks, an annoying computer-generated cross between a rabbit and a cow who is presumably meant to provide the film with some humour as the witless comic sidekick. He turned out to be not quite as irritating as I feared, and I nearly, but not quite, actually liked him. But there are just no decent human characters. Instead we get Liam Neeson as Jedi knight Qui-Gon Jinn, Ewan McGregor as his apprentice - a young Obi-Wan Kenobi - and Natalie Portman as the pretty but dull Queen Amidala. Neeson is as wooden as usual and McGregor's clipped upper-crust Alec Guiness accent does not suit him and his performance is very flat. Natalie Portman is probably the only one of the three whose credibility will benefit from appearing in the film, which suffers from the lack of a loveable scoundrel like Han Solo and a feisty princess like Leia from the earlier films. There is an excellent bad-guy in the form of Darth Maul with his red and black face, horns and double-ended light-sabre. Maul is played (but not voiced) by martial arts exponent Ray Parks, who does a great job as the athletic villain who is on screen all too briefly.
The plot is much too complicated and much too thin at the same time. The endless talk of tax wars and trade disputes and negotiations involving the senator from here-or-there and the commssioner of this-or-that confused me completely. I had no idea what planet I was on half the time. As best as I could figure it out, the film makes no sense as a dramatic whole and is just a giant set-up for what happens in episodes two and three.
The pod race sequence is a fairly exciting rip-off of the chariot race from Ben Hur, and the battle sequences are well constructed and animated. There are also some nice little touches for film nerds, such as the pod from 2001 appearing in a scrap yard, but overall this is a film that's much too worthy and virtually humourless, despite the best efforts of Jar Jar Binks and other supposedly comic creatures. But worst of all, the film is just plain dull. George Lucas has lost the plot and someone should have a word before it's too late to save the next two films in the series. The first Star Wars trilogy ended with a stinker. Let's hope this second trilogy has just got the stinker out of the way.
--
Gary Jones
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