PLANET SICK-BOY: http://www.sick-boy.com
The following is a conversation between PLANET SICK-BOY and former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir -
PSB - `Sholem aleichem' GM - `Aleichem sholem' PSB - `Thank you for coming. I understand that you have just seen the new film, A Price Above Rubies. GM - `I could plotz from the excitement. The last picture I saw was Up in Smoke and I needed that like a hole in the head' PSB - `So, did you enjoy it?' GM - `Did I enjoy it. Better you should ask another question' PSB - `Really? You didn't like it at all?' GM - (under her breath) `A real able momzer, this one is' PSB - `I'm sorry, what was that?' GM - `Bubeleh, it was just wonderful. I should live so long to see a better picture. Wait, I'm dead already' PSB - `Well, what didn't you like about it?' GM - `Again with the questions already' PSB - `Ok, let's just run through the basic story for the readers. Sonia (Renee Zellweger, Jerry Maguire) and Mendel (Glenn Fitzgerald, Flirting with Disaster), a young married couple with a new baby, move from Monsey to Boro Park. Much to the dismay of her friends and family, Sonia begins to stray from her simple life as a devoted housewife and sets out to experience the world on her own terms. Occasionally, she encounters and consoles in a bag lady, who Sonia thinks is the ghost of her deceased Grandmother' GM - (under her breath) `This plosher can really knock a teapot.' PSB - `Please speak into the microphone so we don't miss anything' GM - `Speak into what? Now he tells me' PSB - `So, were there certain parts of the story that you had a problem with?' GM - `That's no charley. Let's start with this director, a meshungener putz. A plague should seize him, may God prevent that' PSB - `But he also made the gritty urban drama Fresh with Tupac Shakur'
GM - `And if his bubbe had wheels, she would be a buggy. He is definitely not an M.O.T.' PSB - `What's an M.O.T.?' GM - `Member of Our Tribe. This nudnick don't know his toches from his elbow' PSB - `What about the characters?' GM - `Let's start with the shikse Sonia. She's too good for her husband all of a sudden and decides to shtup her way into a job' PSB - `You mean when Sender (Christopher Eccleston, Jude) offers her a job selling jewelry for him and he welcomes her aboard with a quick, unceremonious hump? GM - `Mnyeh, enough with that. What about her poor husband?' PSB - `Well, I guess that Sonia was turned off by Mendel's pre-futz praying and the unemotional way he made love to her. I guess you could say that he was unlucky in love' GM - ` Just like the old saying about mazel' PSB - `What's that?' GM - `When a man has mazel, even his rooster lays eggs' PSB - `I'm not sure how that fits into our discussion, but…' GM - (interrupting) `Feh! I'm telling you that Mendel has no eggs, excuse the expression' PSB - `Errr, so it turns out that Sonia is quite an expert in buying and selling jewelry and this skill allows her to meet Ramon (Allen Payne, New Jack City), a young artist who creates his own adornments' GM - `And right into his bed she hops, this yente luftmensch' PSB - `You don't seem to identify with the Sonia character very much at all' GM - `I was the Prime Minister of Israel, not a filthy good-for-bobkes. And just because she is a maven with the jewelry doesn't mean she gets to make like a whore with the first shvartzeh she finds. Like a beet she should grow with her head in the ground' PSB - `And that is the basic moral of A Price Above Rubies. Thank you, Golda'
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