PLANET SICK-BOY: http://www.sick-boy.com
With a title like I Got the Hook Up, you should immediately be worried. I mean, when was the last time that a black comedy that didn't feature at least one Wayans brother was watchable, let alone good? Sure, there's always the chance that it could be the next She's Gotta Have It, Hollywood Shuffle or Fear of a Black Hat, which respectively launched the…errr…'successful' careers of Spike Lee, Robert Townsend and Rusty Cundeiff. These three films, in addition to Christopher Scott Cheron's upcoming gem Hav Plenty, are certainly rare exceptions in this specialized genre of 90's film.
Hook Up stars Master P, who is apparently a popular rap star. This may or may not be true, but since I don't run with that type of crowd, I'll just have to believe what I read. Don't get me wrong – I'm down with the family – I just don't get why these rap guys can suddenly call themselves actors. Actually, now that I think about it, it probably has something to do with rap being a whole lot of bullshit posturing. But I digress…
P, who starred in the direct-to-video sleeper I'm ‘Bout It, joins stand-up comedian A.J. Johnson (Woo) as the main characters Black and Blue. Don't ask me which is which because I have absolutely no frigging idea. These two knuckleheads run some sort of junkyard Wal-Mart, selling everything from broken appliances to stolen stereo equipment. When they stumble on a vanload of cellular phones, you just know they're gonna get busy with some phat bankrolls.
Through some type of elaborate scheme with a horny telephone employee (Gretchen Palmer, Wishmaster), the Black and Blue are able to activate and sell the phones to all of the neighborhood homiez. And I say `elaborate' only because I didn't understand what was happening. I consider myself to be fairly bright, but I didn't quite comprehend how they kept getting the phones delivered to them after they sold the first shipment.
At one point, P blurts out the memorable line `It can't get no worser that this' and damn if he ain't right. There are a few very funny scenes involving a funeral catfight, a retard drive-by shooting and a secret stash of dildos and chocolate syrup. But these moments are very far and few between.
It's not as bad as Booty Call, and that's the nicest thing that I can think of saying.
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