Notting Hill (1999) * out of *****
Cast: Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant, Rhys Ifans, Alec Baldwin, Matthew Modine Written by: Richard Curtis Directed by: Roger Michell Running Time: 123 minutes Date Reviewed: August 14, 1999
*** This Review Contains Spoilers ***
Whenever a new romantic comedy or drama is released, there is always one question that has to be asked. I mean sure, you know how the movie is going to end even before you get to the theater, so the question is not "will they or won't they?". No, the question is "Will the journey to this film's obvious conclusion be entertaining?". In the case of Notting Hill, the answer is definitely not.
One day, superstar actress Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) wanders into a British travel book store, causing an almost interested reaction from the shop's owner William Thacker (Hugh Grant, giving that same stammering idiot performance that I just hate). Later, Thacker spills orange juice all over Anna when they accidentally collide on the sidewalk. Thacker then invites Anna up to his flat to change clothes, and upon arriving there, Anna kisses him. From that point on William falls madly in love, while Anna repeatedly makes it her mission to tear out his heart, stomp on it, throw it under a speeding bus, light it on fire, extinguish it in a toilet, and then hand it back to him.
Forgive me for sounding so harsh here, but I can't figure out for the life of me the appeal of this film. It might be one of those "gender specific" movies where women see it one way and men see it another. I mean from a guy's perspective though, Julia Roberts' character is a total bitch to this guy (who obviously loves her) not once, not twice, but THREE MAJOR TIMES over the course of the film, and HE'S the one who ends up apologizing to her in the end? WHAT?!
The first time comes when, after seemingly having a great date, Anna brings William back to her hotel room. Well surprise! Guess who's there? It's her hunky actor boyfriend that she neglected to mention (played by Alec Baldwin, who causes a distraction for a while because you're not sure if he's playing himself or a fictional hunky actor). Anna allows her boyfriend to completely humiliate William (if he hadn't already been humiliated enough), and he leaves.
Jump to sometime later. Nude pictures and a video of Anna surface so she comes to William's to hide out. He forgives her for her earlier bitchness and they proceed to have a grand time. Well thanks to William's idiot flatmate (a character which may be the most disgusting man ever put to film, British or not), the paparazzi swarm to William's place to get the scoop. (On a side note: I love how this entire swarm of paparazzi all show up together, make their plan to all be really, really quiet, elect one person to causally ring the doorbell, remain quiet as mice, and then commence to go completely nuts as a unit when William opens the door.) Anna blames William for answering his own door, saying that these pictures of them together will haunt her for her entire life (photos of a couple in love are worse than the nudie ones? Come on!). Again she basically tells William to screw off, and she leaves.
Jump to sometime later. Anna is filming a movie and William stupidly forgives her bitchness AGAIN and goes to see her. He is welcomed onto the set and, in a moment that I don't think has ever happened on a major movie shoot, is invited to hang out and listen to all of the dialogue via headphones. Through this ridiculous plot contrivance, William overhears Anna talking to her co-star before a take. Her co-star asks about William, and she proceeds to tell him that he's "no one". Again distraught, William leaves.
A short time later, Anna shows up at William's shop to find out why he left the set and to give her "I'm just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love me" speech. Instead of letting her have it (as he should), William remains a gentleman and politely tells her to go away because she's hurt him for the last time. She does... but William's idiotic friends then convince him that he's made a terrible mistake. So there's a wacky car chase (involving one car) to get William to see Anna before she leaves. He makes it, apologizes for all his wrong doings (which don't exist in any realm of reality), she forgives him, and they live happily ever after on a bench in the park where he reads and she smiles.
Notting Hill really did nothing for it's two hour plus running time except infuritate me. And I don't go to the movies to be infuriated. Someone might respond to all this with that saying "You have to go through the thorns to get to the rose". Ok fine, if you want to rake your hand up the stem through the thorns just to have the rose then go right ahead. But if you ask me, why not just start at the top? No head games, no pain, no blood spilled... just touch the stinkin' rose! Sigh. People in this world (obviously including the filmmakers) just don't realize that life is too short for all this nonsense. [PG-13]
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