THE REAL MCCOY
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1993 James Berardinelli
Rating (Linear 0 to 10): 2.8
Date Released: 9/10/93 Running Length: 1:46 Rated: PG-13 (Violence, language)
Starring: Kim Basinger, Terence Stamp, Val Kilmer, Gailard Sartain, Zach English Director: Russell Mulcahy Producers: Martin Bregman, Willie Baer, and Michael S. Bregman Screenplay: William Davies and William Osborne Music: Brad Fiedel Released by Universal Pictures
For six months, Karen McCoy (Kim Basinger) has been serving time for a bungled bank robbery she committed for Jack Schmidt (Terence Stamp). Naturally, Karen isn't too fond of the man she blames for her prison sentence, and he's mad that he didn't get the contents of the vault. Upon her release, she finds herself surrounded by corruption, all of which is designed to get her back into the burglary market. Her parole officer (Gailard Sartain) is in Schmidt's employ and very soon her son (Zach English) has been kidnapped. Her only friend appears to be Schmidt's cousin's son, J. T. Barker (Val Kilmer), who agrees to help her out.
At first, I wasn't sure if THE REAL MCCOY was supposed to be a thriller, a drama, or a comedy. Fortunately, it quickly became apparent that it didn't matter: this film is too bad to be worth such noble classifications. With a plot that has no conception of reality and a bunch of characters put together in uninspired fashion, THE REAL MCCOY has little, if anything, to recommend it (unless you're desperate to hear Terence Stamp's awful Southern accent).
The interaction between Karen and her son is hideous. I'd be surprised if anyone bought these scenes, just as I'd find it hard to believe that anyone sensed even the most remote indications of chemistry between Basinger and Kilmer. Put simply, these two are dull together. Maybe Val is still thinking about his role as Elvis in TRUE ROMANCE.
I'd like to know who convinced Kim Basinger that she could act. More appropriately, perhaps, is who convinced production companies that she could act. Aside from not having an on-screen presence, she can't deliver dialogue with any degree of credibility, has the range of a potato skin, and isn't nearly as stunning to look at as her reputation would indicate.
Of course, the movie is bad enough that Basinger's lackluster performance doesn't really hurt it. Given a dumb script and plain directing (by HIGHLANDER's Russell Mulcahy), THE REAL MCCOY can't really be further sabotaged by the presence of a mediocre troupe of actors. It's sort of like spilling gasoline on an already oil-encrusted garage floor. Who's going to notice?
There are a couple of mildly clever moments during the course of the big break-in, but these are swamped by a plot that keeps getting more and more ridiculous, and takes far too much time to get there. Whatever minor incidents of entertainment are present, they're not worth the price required to get to them. The movie if the real thief: not only will it cost you money, but it will steal your time as well.
THE REAL MCCOY is filled with innumerable cliches. After escaping from the clutches of the bad guys, Karen and her son flee to their hidden getaway car--which obviously fails to start right away. Karen's ex-husband is, of course, a complete and total sleaze. The cops are all either interminably stupid or on the take. And the list goes on, except I can't reveal the most absurd of these without spoiling the ending (as if it really makes any difference).
Even Basinger fans (are there really such people?) will likely be disappointed by this movie, which has even less to recommend it than the rather putrid FATHER HOOD. Lifelessness is the film's chief characteristic, and that perhaps is being kind. Far too many motion pictures get filmed when they should be stopped at the planning stage, and THE REAL MCCOY is firmly in that category. If you want to see a movie about burglars, you'll have a better time (or at least a few laughs) watching the unredeemably campy HUDSON HAWK.
- James Berardinelli (blake7@cc.bellcore.com)
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