Three to Tango (1999)

reviewed by
Scott Renshaw


THREE TO TANGO (Warner Bros./Village Roadshow) Starring: Matthew Perry, Neve Campbell, Dylan McDermott, Oliver Platt. Screenplay: Rodney Vaccaro and Aline Brosh McKenna. Producers: Bobby Newmyer, Jeffrey Silver and Bettina Sofia Viviano. Director: Damon Santostefano. MPAA Rating: PG-13 (adult themes, profanity) Running Time: 99 minutes. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.

If I had to pick a "Friends" cast member to star in a feature film -- not contribute, mind you, but star -- I'd pick Matthew Perry. That may seem a fairly faint praise, since -- Courtney Cox's contribution to two SCREAM ensembles notwithstanding -- the six small screen compadres haven't exactly burned up the big screen. Each has his or her appeal, but Perry is more well-suited to carrying a mainstream comedy. He's got charm, he's got comic timing ... he's got most of what you need to give an audience good-natured entertainment.

He does not, however, have the right stuff for a variation on TOOTSIE, especially one as ineffectual as THREE TO TANGO. That's the essence of this romantic comedy that casts Perry as Chicago architect Oscar Novak. Oscar and his business partner Peter (Oliver Platt) are up for a huge contract, a cultural center financed by tycoon Charles Newman (Dylan McDermott). When Charles asks Oscar to keep tabs on his mistress Amy (Neve Campbell), Oscar quickly agrees, believing his assistance may give an edge to his firm. He doesn't realize until it's too late that Charles only gave him the assignment because he believes Oscar is gay. That complication only gets more complicated when Oscar, obliged to keep playing the part, starts to fall for Amy, who also believes he's gay.

THREE TO TANGO is framed, like TOOTSIE, as the story of a man who learns something about himself by pretending to be something he's not. There are the expected farcical elements -- the amused reactions of those who really know Oscar; the awkward and unwanted attentions of a would-be suitor; a confusing night in bed with the woman friend -- delivered in a functionally chuckle-inspiring manner. And maybe THREE TO TANGO could have had a little spark, if there were actually anything for Oscar to learn. At the outset, he's a chronically nervous sweetheart with relationship hard luck -- effective for creating a sympathetic protagonist, but useless on a narrative level. Imagine Oscar as a womanizing homophobe forced to pose as a gay man, and think of how much more robust a farce it could have been.

Of course, such an angle is too potentially alienating for Hollywood, in addition to being all wrong for Matthew Perry. Misconceptions about Chandler's sexual orientation were a running gag on "Friends" for years, which would make Perry seem perfect for the role. Indeed, he does a great frustration take, and his winning smile makes it easy to root for him to get the girl. Perry is almost warm and engaging enough to make THREE TO TANGO watchable through the sheer appeal of his personality, but he's still entirely wrong for the part. Actually, he's right for the part as written, which is pleasant and non-threatening. It's the part that's wrong for the movie. The anger and bitterness of Dustin Hoffman's Michael Dorsey gave TOOTSIE its trans-gender kick. Because niceness is always Oscar's defining quality, THREE TO TANGO never had a chance at being anything but sporadically nice.

And it's only sporadically nice, since Perry gets little help from his castmates. Platt is quickly becoming cinema's most reliable second banana, but he doesn't get much to work with. McDermott plays a generically icy corporate shark, and he has even less to work with. Then there's Neve Campbell, whose appeal frankly baffles me. As the free-spirited artist and object of Oscar's affections, she's all affected, unconvincing effervescence. There's a superficial topicality to the film's themes, but it's really the sort of pure froth that lives or dies on the basis of its romantic pairing. If you're able to smile along with Oscar and Amy's sit-complicated courtship, more power to you. I could only smile along with Perry, whose self-deprecating nice guy screen presence deserves a much better vehicle -- preferably one where it makes sense for the protagonist to be a self-deprecating nice guy.

     On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 TOOTSIE roles:  4.

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