PLANET SICK-BOY: http://www.sick-boy.com
The following is a list (Larry Kink-style) of things that I learned from the new film, Spiceworld:
* The Spice Girls have the best teeth in all of England * George Wendt's career is washed up (although I should have figured
that out when he was thrown off of the sitcom The Naked Truth) * Sadly, Mark McKean (The Kids in the Hall) may also be having career
problems * The Spice Bus is very roomy and comfortable * Sporty Spice is arguably the most talented of the spices * `Girl Power' has something to do with Wonder-Bras and unwed
pregnancy, but I'm not sure because I nodded off for a bit * I believe that Posh Spice would best suit my mature and refined
demeanor * The best parts of the movie are when Mark McKean pitches ideas for
potential Spice Girls movie plots…all better than the one that
actually made it to the screen * Director Bob Spiers has proven that his previous flop, That Darn
Cat! (Worst 10 Films of 1997) was no fluke * I actually prayed for the songs. The singing scenes were far less
vapid than the ones where the acting was trying to happen * There is nothing that can be found in a dark theater to aid a
person with a suicide attempt. Believe me, I looked * The screenplay, by Kim Fuller (Tracy Takes On…) and Jennifer
Saunders (Absolutely Fabulous) is as annoying as Tracy Takes On…
and Absolutely Fabulous * The names of the Spice Girls should be changed to Red, Itchy,
Swollen, Burning and Painful (after a certain proctologic
phenomenon)
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