THE BONE COLLECTOR A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
Less than 5 minutes into THE BONE COLLECTOR, the movie already has you laughing at the stupidity of one of the two leads. Not a good omen.
Ex-fashion model turned street cop, Amelia Donaghy (Angelina Jolie) goes alone -- no partner and no backup -- into a remote and dangerous area to investigate what will prove to be a heinous crime scene. (Jolie is convincing as an ex-fashion model but badly miscast as a cop.) After locating a mutilated corpse, Donaghy notices a small stack of evidence on the nearby train tracks. When she sees an Amtrak locomotive barreling down the tracks, she doesn't just scoop up the evidence. Oh no, that would be too easy and not dramatic enough. Instead, she stands on the tracks and hopes she can stop a speeding train that is coming right at her. Trains like these take a long distance to come to a halt, but this one stops just a few feet short of killing her and messing up her evidence.
Denzel Washington plays a quadriplegic homicide detective named Lincoln Rhyme, whose skills rival those of the great Sherlock Holmes. As we first meet Rhyme, he's arranging for a doctor to kill him since he's worried that he will become a vegetable. This arrangement is put on hold when he's asked to help in solving the aforementioned case. The "perp" (as in the perpetrator of the murder) turns out to be a serial killer who loves leaving very obscure clues about his next victim.
Sound like David Fincher's SEVEN? With its gruesome crimes, THE BONE COLLECTOR does possess many similarities -- the quality of the writing and direction, however, not being part of them. THE BONE COLLECTOR, directed by Phillip Noyce (THE SAINT) and scripted by Jeremy Iacone, is a preposterous and predictable movie that insults the viewers' intelligence every chance it gets. Only viewers who fall asleep will not be able to guess who the last attempted victim will be.
In one of my favorites of the film's numerous improbabilities, Officer Donaghy's boyfriend breaks up with her because of his therapist's advice. With Angelina Jolie's looks, how many men would take that advice? Most would quickly get rid of the therapist instead.
The director's staging is infuriating with his blend of overly clever and clichéd plot devices. In order to illustrate how much Rhyme misses the loss of his freedom, a peregrine falcon is shown in frequent close-ups on the ledge of his apartment. The bird gets to flap his wings and fly away. Rhyme doesn't have that same mobility, as we are constantly reminded.
Rhyme decides that only Donaghy, a relative rookie, will do to be his hands and eyes for the big investigation. He doesn't want some seasoned veteran. Does this make any sense at all? Of course not.
Another ludicrous part of the story has a stuffed-shirt police boss, Capt. Cheney (Michael Rooker), shut down Rhyme's entire investigation just so that Capt. Cheney can save all the glory for himself.
Scene after scene is filled with abundant good luck. When Rhyme decides that they need to locate a very old book, of which they don't even know the title, the first bookstore that Donaghy goes to has it. Even better than that, when she reaches up and accidentally pulls down a large batch of books from the top shelf, on the top of the stack turns out to be exactly the one she needs. Talking about a needle in the haystack!
The shamelessly manipulative story even falls back on the old child endangerment episode for some cheap thrills. A sweet and innocent little girl and her elderly grandfather are taken off so the killer can arrange for them to die a miserable death.
So who is the killer? Don't waste your time guessing. The movie is one of those infuriating ones in which the solution to the mystery comes completely out of left field.
Denzel Washington, who has demonstrated his considerable talents in many wonderful films (including MALCOLM X and HE GOT GAME), has sometimes even been able to save some mediocre ones. FALLEN, for example, would have been just a run-of-the-mill supernatural thriller without Washington's efforts in it. No matter how hard he tries, however, even Washington isn't able to save THE BONE COLLECTOR from its hackneyed script and its ridiculous direction.
THE BONE COLLECTOR runs a long 1:58. It is rated R for strong violent content, including grisly images, and for language. The film would be acceptable for teenagers only if they are older and mature.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
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