House on Haunted Hill (1999) 1 star out of 4. Starring Geoffrey Rush, Taye Diggs and Peter Gallagher.
Why do filmmakers always feel that by adding color, gore and high-tech special effects they can improve on old movies?
Case in point, the current dreadful remake of "House on Haunted Hill."
Up front, I will admit to a prejudice. The William Castle original is one of my favorite childhood memories. I fondly recall sitting in the theater watching Vincent Price ham it up on the screen, and listening to others - but not me, of course - scream when the phony skeleton came flying down from the rafters.
That was Emergo, Castle's gimmick to lure audiences to the theaters. We all knew it was phony, but it was fun.
And that is what is missing from this lame remake. As hard as it tries, it's not fun. The spirit of tongue-in-cheek, winking at the audience has all but disappeared.
Oh, star Geoffrey Rush tries hard. Adorned with a pencil-thin mustache and given the name Stanley Price, he is supposed to be a walking homage to the great Vincent.
Well, Mr. Rush - Oscar or no Oscar - I knew Vincent Price - having the privilege of twice interviewing him - and you are no Vincent Price.
This remake starts off promising, with a gruesome prologue that explains how the house on haunted hill earned its reputation.
>From there we meet the bickering Prices who have as much love for each other as Jesse Helms and Carol Mosley-Braun.
But once the movie shifts focus to the haunted mansion, it becomes nothing but a series of chases as the various guests - none of whom are known by either Price, nor do they know who invited them - merely run, gasp, scream, shout and die.
The guests - including Taye Diggs and Peter Gallagher - are merely types, and we really don't give a damn what happens to any of them.
If you want to have a really good time, forget this insult to William Castle and rent the original. It's hokey, it's corny, but at least it has a spark of life.
Bob Bloom is the film critic at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, IN. He can be reached by e-mail at bloom@journal-courier.com or at cbloom@iquest.net.
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