"Dogma" is unashamedly a pointless, crude comedy attempting to justify its existence with writer-director Kevin Smith's dogmatic principles. Knowing the controversy over the its portrait of catholicism and its ideals, I found nothing offensive or demeaning or needlessly cruel about "Dogma." At the same time, that is precisely its problem.
"Dogma" begins with two Wisconsin angels named Bartleby and Loki (Ben Affleck and Matt Damon) as they watch people arriving at an airport, noticing how many of them arrive happy and content. The twosome are stuck in exile, and thus lavish a plan to make their mark at a church in New Jersey, which has adopted a new way of looking at God - it is called "Catholicism NOW!" with a statue of Jesus winking and holding his thumb up. Their hope is to reclaim their spot as God's avenging angels, thus causing havoc and murderous rampages on their quest - they kill all the sinners of the world. So far, so good. This stuff is funny, clever and smart - pure vintage Smith.
Unfortunately, the movie then switches gears as it introduces a lonely abortion clinic worker named Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) who has lost her faith, or perhaps her faith in men! Enter a pale-looking seraphim (the droll Alan Rickman) who convinces her she is the chosen one - she must stop the angels on their trek to New Jersey. The two prophets who will accompany her are regular stock characters Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), the crude, sex-starved stoners with nary a thought in their heads. Oh, yes, and out of the sky falls the forgotten 13th apostle named Rufus (Chris Rock) - he was left out of the Bible because he was black. "Jesus owes me twelve dollars," argues Rufus.
I will say that Kevin Smith has some good ideas and juggles dozens of characters around with some ease...but the tone is all wrong. Quite simply, the staging and pacing of the film is as flat as the Kansas plains. There are jokes but there are no real punchlines - there is no conviction in the delivery of dialogue. The acting is mostly stale and shoddy, not to mention the film's cruddy, muddy look. Kevin Smith has never been known for visual flair because his dialogue often saved the day - not this time. I think Linda Fiorentino is the key to the film's faults.
Fiorentino, an invigoratingly sexy and alluring actress, is given precious little to do - her character exists solely for the purpose of salvation. By the end of the film, you will wonder what was her real purpose. During Fiorentino's first appearance, Janeane Garofalo makes a choice cameo as her fellow worker and there is more wit and dry asides in her brief scene than in all of Linda's scenes put together. I would have preferred Garofalo as Bethany any day. However, every scene featuring Fiorentino is weak and drags the film downhill. A real shame considering this is the same actress from "After Hours" and "The Last Seduction."
Another big minus are the two avenging angels played by Damon and Affleck, two actors of dubious talent at best. To be fair, I've enjoyed Ben Affleck in the past but here, he takes himself too seriously resulting in a ludicrously blood-drenched climax where he dons a pair of wings and initiates a massacre. Matt Damon has the same blank stare throughout the film, and has no sense of comic timing. His personality is nonexistent, merely a bland, bickering angel attempting to make us laugh with his annoying wisecracks. He might better off writing another film with his pal Affleck.
Most of the film is full of bickering and theological discussions on the virtues of faith in a faithless world, but hardly any of it is funny or engaging. Though there are some shining moments of glory supplied by Chris Rock, George Carlin (as a hip Cardinal), and the reliable Jay and Silent Bob, there are also soporific moments by Jason Lee as a demon, Bud Cort in a relatively mute role, Salma Hayek as Serendipity, a muse, a purely grotesque monster called Golgotha, and three anonymous ice hockey minions of the devil who barely cause a rift. None of this merits anything more than a mild chuckle or two. By the end of this interminable stupidity, the shaky dogmatic principles outweigh the comedic output.
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