THE BACHELOR ** (out of five stars) A review by Jamey Hughton
Starring-Chris O'Donnell, Renee Zellweger, James Cromwell, Hal Holbrook and Artie Lange Director-Gary Sinyor Rated PG New Line
MOVIE VIEWS by Jamey Hughton http://Welcome.to/MovieViews
`The Bachelor' is one of the best terrible movies you will ever see. Wading through this gooey, detestable sludge is quite the chore for even a dedicated romantic. Those hoping to find some genuine charm and feeling behind this Chris O'Donnell vehicle should wander elsewhere; `The Bachelor' is a painfully clumsy mess strung together with a few brief moments of surprising poignancy. Awaiting these moments by enduring the rest of the film is certainly not worth your time or money.
Although he has not quite evolved out of the stereotypical pretty-boy cocoon, Chris O'Donnell has an effortless charm as an actor. Most will recognize him as the high-flying Robin from the two latest `Batman' films, but other abilities are evident behind his boyish smile. Can O'Donnell carry the weight of a film on his shoulders? Perhaps, if he found the proper vehicle... but `The Bachelor' falls far short of the requirements. The actor just can't register with such a pathetic screenplay as the guiding light to success. A few instances of adorable humor aside, it becomes apparent that no one could save the festering mess that is `The Bachelor'.
O'Donnell plays Jimmie, a hopeless romantic in his late twenties who's progressing in a serious relationship with Anne (Renee Zellweger). Jimmie takes Anne out for dinner to the restaurant specifically used for proposals, and attempts to ask for her hand in marriage. The problem is that his proposal sucks. Big time. You can tell things aren't going pleasantly, because Jimmie gets the infamous ‘deer-in-the-headlights' look when Anne questions his approach.
And then, the plot (along with the stupidity of the movie) thickens. Jimmie's grandfather (Peter Ustinov) dies suddenly, leaving a video will behind for his grandson (who also happens to be his only living relative). Everybody is speechless when grandpa declares that he is passing down an inheritance in the amount of 100 million dollars to Jimmie. Of course, there's a catch: he must get married before his 30th birthday, stay joined with his bride for an entire decade, and produce healthy children within the first five years. The bad news is that Jimmie's birthday is the following day. With Anne out of town, he must find a willing bride to share his riches with... and within a very limited time frame.
There are certainly a few worthwhile aspects of `The Bachelor'. For one, the movie's approach is interesting and not dripping with cliché. Another is the colorful cast. O'Donnell and Zellweger are cute together, and the supporting cast tries relentlessly to rescue the film from drowning in it's own mediocrity. Ustinov is enjoyable as the cranky grandfather figure, and James Cromwell is sincere and effective as a wise priest dragged through Jimmie's marital adventures. And now the cons: the approach may be interesting, but in trying an old-fashioned method, director Gary Sinyor gives the film a synthetic feel. The characters are drawn with obvious, broad strokes, and the plot is bogged down with everything humanly imaginable.
Yes, `The Bachelor' is far more frustrating than cute. The screenplay is lamely written, and the subject matter poorly conceived. The considerable charm of the two leads is thoughtlessly wasted, along with whatever promise the film initially contained. Potential goes out the window early to suit Sinyor's `colorful' approach, but not a minute of this hapless drivel seems accustomed to the director's wishes. `The Bachelor' becomes lost without a homing beacon to save it.
You've seen the TV spots, haven't you? O'Donnell is madly rushing down a deserted street and the caption reads `What is this man running from?' In actuality, he's fleeing from thousands of angry brides who want to marry him and inherit his fortune (it's one of the few enjoyable sequences in the film). After seeing the movie, I believe that the approaching horde could be something else. O'Donnell could be running from his angry fans, who have just endured `The Bachelor', and are hunting him down for revenge.
(C) 1999, Jamey Hughton
MOVIE VIEWS by Jamey Hughton http://Welcome.to/MovieViews
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