END OF DAYS
Reviewed by Harvey Karten Universal Pictures Director: Peter Hyams Writer: Andrew W. Marlowe Cast: Arnold Schwarznegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak, Renee Olstead, Matt Gallini, Linda Pine
Since "End of Days" and Neil Jordan's "The End of the Affair" are playing simultaneously in many theaters, you just might be confused about which to see. I can imagine Richard Kwientniowsky's creation, Giles De'ath, heading for the literary film based on the Graham Greene novel and winding up seeing a mediocre actor with big pecs throwing his weight around in the far more visceral universe of Peter Hyams. He might exclaim, "I say, Ralph Fiennes must be working out these days!" On second thought, there is at least one point of congruence between the plodding Canadian novel and the high-speed vehicle for Arnold Schwarznegger. Graham Greene's book is suffused with a mystical run of Catholic convictions, principally with a belief that some minor miracles can happen in our own, expiring century. For example, when Sarah Miles gently kisses the cheek of the young detective, his huge birthmark gradually disappears. More important, God presents Sarah with an apparent miracle that ironically ends her affair with the novelist Maurice Bendrix.
Despite the belief in the occult that Greene shares with "End of Days" director Peter Hyams, the audience for the two movies is not likely to be the same. The heavily marketed millennium disaster movie is as high caliber as the Canadian novel is lumbering and Schwarznegger is to Ralph Fiennes as Ed Wood is to Alfred Hitchcock.
As chock full of logical flaws as it is loaded with brimstone and fire, "End of Days," which features a mock, Greek- tragedy ending (think Ajax), recalls such pseudo=religious movies as "The Omen" and "Stigmata." Despite its portrayal of some high-ranking church officials as hoodlums, there hasn't been a peep from the Vatican about the show while Catholic groups have rallied against such dulcet, pro-faith fairy tales like "Dogma." Perhaps the obvious cartoonish violence and pointless performances (wasting such talents as Kevin Pollak and Miriam Margolyes) are so obviously tongue- in-cheek that the theme could not offend anyone in the audience.
Nonetheless, "End of Days" is more watchable than some critics would have you think. Just observing Miriam Margolyes beat the stuffing out of Arnold Schwarznegger might be worth the price of admission. The scene with Gabriel Byrne as the Devil's agent speaking of his intended bride "I'd treat her like a queen" will have to make do for laughs in a film which--given the flat-falling one-liners of Kevin Pollak--will have to make do for comedy. In only one case does Andrew W. Marlowe's script rise to the level of wit, as The Man (Gabriel Byrne), infused with Satan's spirit, compares the Bible to a publicist's press kit. "When things turn out well, we say 'It's God's will.' When they turn out bad, it's 'God works in mysterious ways.'"
The story gets under way when a priest rushes into the inner chambers of the Vatican to announce to the seated Pope, "The child will be born today." The year is 1979 and in a hospital, a newborn girl is rushed from her mother's womb to a mysterious chamber where doctors and nurses (including the notable English performer Miriam Margolyes) observe as a physician cuts open the belly of a snake and smears the blood over the infant--who is ironically named Christine. Twenty years later, that little girl is a pixieish orphan (Robin Tunney) who is destined to have a brief affair with the Devil himself, to spend some time in bed while everyone else crowds around Times Square to watch the birth of the new millennium. According to Scriptures--as interpreted by the prescient priest (Rod Steiger)--during the final hour of our own century, Satan is to mate with this particular woman, who will give birth to the anti-Christ. The Devil will then reign over the Earth: unless, that is, a former cop, Jericho Cane (Arnold Schwarznegger) who quit the force when the murder of wife and child left him chronically depressed, can end the affair before it begins. With his cynically jocular partner Chicago (Kevin Pollak), he determines to protect the 20-year- old woman from The Man (who, as fans of Gabriel Byrne know would be irresistible to women even if the Devil had not entered his body).
"End of Days" features plenty of violence of the sort that would have teens call out "Yeah!" and a couple of fairly sexy near-encounters, one taking place near the podium of a church. If you can forget the logic by which The Man's body can almost instantly heal damage done to it by bullets and yet Jericho's bazooka-like artillery can down him for minutes at a time, you can sit back and enjoy New York undergoing more mayhem than usual as fires consume churches and subway trains alike. Y2K may yet end our days but Peter Hyams interpretation of havoc is harmless.
Rated R. Running Time: 118 minutes. (C) 1999 Harvey Karten, film_critic@compuserve.com
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