THE BACHELOR A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 1999 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): ** 1/2
"My mustang days were about to become a distant memory," the soon to-be-ex-bachelor Jimmie Shannon (Chris O'Donnell) laments. "Goodbye sweet grasses." A bachelor suffering from mustang metaphor obsession, Jimmie sees his life dating one girl after another as being like a wild mustang who is free to sample all of the grasses on the open range.
In Gary Sinyor's THE BACHELOR, Jimmie reluctantly decides it's time to leave "Bachelorsville" for the town of "Marriedsville," so he arranges, along with dozens of other men in a similar situation, to pop the question to his intended at one of the fanciest restaurants in town.
After rambling incoherently, Jimmie finishes his proposal of sorts with, "The upshot is: You win!" Not exactly overwhelmed, his disbelieving girlfriend, Anne (Renée Zellweger), glares at him with an incredulous look. "That's it?" she asks. "'You win!' is a proposal?"
The delightfully cute Zellweger represents everything that is right about THE BACHELOR. She acts adorable, and with her long, curly blonde hair and rosy cheeks, she looks like the catch of the century. The filmmakers ask her to carry the entire burden of the romantic portion of this romantic comedy, which is hard. One person does not a romance make.
In contrast, the incredibly bland O'Donnell shows what's wrong with the movie. Never credible as a romantic figure in the story, he is required to setup the comedy parts. "What you think?" one woman ridicules Jimmie late in the picture. "You think you some kind of comedian?" And therein lies the problem, he isn't. The movie, which features too much O'Donnell and not enough Zellweger, places its bet heavily on the comedic side of the romantic comedy equation. The result is a story that definitely has its moments but overall just fizzles.
Most of the movie concerns Jimmie's frantic search for another bride. Soon after he botches his proposal to Anne (he really sticks his foot in his mouth in an unprintable line after the "you win" disaster), his grandfather dies. In his will he leaves $100,000,000 to Jimmie but only under certain conditions -- the prime one being that he gets married the next day. In order to prove that it isn't just some sham marriage, he must stay hitched for 10 years, never leave his wife for more than one day a month and produce "genetically verifiable offspring" within 5 years.
Needless to say, Jimmie will mess up the proposals to his ex-girlfriends almost as badly as he did with his one to Anne, whom he still loves. Think you can guess the ending?
Steve Cohen's screenplay is based on Buster Keaton's silent classic SEVEN CHANCES from 1925. Besides a few quite humorous scenes, the script for THE BACHELOR has one nice serious one. James Cromwell, as a grim reaper of a priest, who turns out to have a heart of gold, explains to Jimmie his philosophy about marriage. "It's a great thing when you grow old to have someone look in your face and see what you think you look like," the priest says in the movie's only truly insightful scene.
THE BACHELOR is hard to characterize. If it's a comedy, then there just aren't enough laughs. If it's supposed to be a romance, then they should have cast someone who could have created some genuine chemistry with Zellweger. A sporadically enjoyable movie, it leaves you wishing Zellweger had been given a lot more screen time. And that they had cast a different male lead.
THE BACHELOR runs 1:40. It is rated PG-13 for language and would be fine for kids about 9 and up.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, November 5. In the San Jose area it will be playing at the AMC and Century theaters.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
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