The Legend of 1900 (1999) Reviewed by Eugene Novikov http://www.ultimate-movie.com/ Member: Online Film Critics Society
The Legend of 1900 (1999)
"The world on land -- it's just too big for me."
Starring Tim Roth, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Bill Nunn, Clarence Williams III. Rated R.
The Legend of 1900s is the year's most absurd movie, a rambling, nonsensical piece of seafaring garbage that goes nowhere fast. It stars thespian extraordinaire Tim Roth, looking wistful as ever, as a guy named... 1900. You heard right. His name is, in all actuality, 1900. He was born on an ocean liner on 1/1/1900 (uh, hence the name), abandoned and adopted by Danny, a ship crewman. 1900 spends most of his early years hiding in the bowels of the ship because of Danny's fear that he might be taken away from him because of "visa matters."
Well, when 1900 is about 9 or so, he starts wondering all around the ship. One day, he discovers a grand piano. He sits down and starts playing. Miraculously, what comes out is beautiful. A group of onlookers gathers to watch this stunning prodigy make such amazing music at such a young age. When one of the people who knows 1900 tells him that his playing the piano like that without permission is "totally against regulations" 1900 replies "F*ck the regulations!" Ho ho ho.
1900 grows up never setting foot on dry land. When he's about 30ish and can play the piano like nobody's business, onboard comes another musician. His name is Max (Pruitt Taylor Vince) and he plays the trumpet. After 1900 catches Max barfing everywhere during a storm, he sits him down on the piano next to him, takes the piano's braces off and plays while the piano flies all around the hall, taking them with it. How the chair they're sitting on and the piano don't separate, I don't know, but this apparently isn't the kind of thing we're supposed to ask.
After that, 1900 and Max become friends. Max is determined to get 1900 off the ship and discover what he is missing on land, but 1900 has no intention of doing so. What's more, he doesn't even want his music to go anywhere without him: when a record company hears about his talents, they come on board to make a record of his music, but after finding out that -- gasp! -- they're going to make millions of copies, he breaks the record.
The conflict of the movie is that after Max, unsuccessful in his endeavor to get 1900 off the ship, gets off himself, he stumbles upon a record of 1900's music in a store. The record shouldn't exist because a) 1900 never stepped on dry land and b) the one record that was made on the ship was broken. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a mystery!
The story itself is ludicrous and uninteresting and so are its elements. We're supposed to be roused by a climactic... piano duel? There isn't anything in this movie with the potential to compel. 1900 comes off as a whiny, brooding, extremely unlikable man: I can't recall a single word he said that was not some sort of depressing pseudo- meditation on life. Ditto for Max, who doesn't seem to have a life outside his friendship with 1900.
Tim Roth plays 1900 with about as much panache as a fig leaf; there's no spirit, no gusto to the character. He insists that he leads a happy life on the ship, but to us he is dead. Pruitt Taylor Vince is a little more palatable, at least providing a moment of comic relief here and there to liven things up a bit. The highlight of the movie would have to be the eminently amusing Clarence Williams the III as the arrogant, leering "King of Jazz" who challenges 1900 to the aforementioned piano duel.
The Legend of 1900 was made by Giuseppe Tornatore, whose 1988 Cinema Paradiso is considered a masterpiece by many. This effort is utterly limp and lifeless. At once ridiculous, boring, narrow-sighted and pointless, this is one movie that should be -- and will be -- quickly forgotten.
Grade: D+
©1999 Eugene Novikov
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