End of Days 1 Star (Out of 4) Reviewed by Mac VerStandig critic@moviereviews.org http://www.moviereviews.org
A copy of this review can be found at http://moviereviews.org/review_-_end_of_days.htm
End of Days goes up in flames- literally. With both the hereditary flaws of an apocalyptic film, poor acting and a lack of that magical quality that oftentimes makes unrealistic action movies seem plausible; it is most fitting that the title card in the opening credits is on fire.
There are certain liberties which movies like this can take. Over the summer Universal, the parent of this work, released Bowfinger, a comedic satire which explained that if the action is good, the plot doesn't have to make sense. James Cameron knows about this. His Terminator films hardly hold their own weight in a world of Jane Austen (incidentally, there actually is a Jane Austen film opening opposite this movie) but the effects are grade-A and Arnold Shwarzenegger (from here on out known as "Arnie") is at his best. Unfortunately, director Peter Hyams doesn't have those Cameronian effects and the key performance is Arnie-lite.
After a brief opening stint in 1979's Vatican City and New York City, we are taken to the big apple of December 28, 1999. In three days, 1000 years will be over and Satan has a plan to end all humanity. The end of days will require the rape and pregnancy of the chosen one (named Christine York and played by Robin Tunney) between the hours of 11:00pm and midnight, Eastern Standard Time. The offspring will then come alive Rosemary's Baby style and all of existence will be negated. The details on how exactly this takeover will occur are omitted (if they ever existed in the first place).
Arnie plays a security guard for hire. He takes a bullet for his client (actually, the movie uses an old bulletproof vest joke to create the false illusion that he is dead, something that clearly can't happen to the star only 15 minutes into the movie) and pursues the shooter. The man with the gun turns out to be a priest who chose a life of poverty over the church. Arnie catches up with him and he mutters an apocalyptic phrase before Arnie shoots him. Seem strange yet? It gets more bizarre. The guy doesn't have a tongue.
The movie continues in this worn-out chase, kill, chase, kill, etc85 = format until you are absolutely fed up with apocalyptic mythology. The only interesting or original revelation the movie makes is that Simon and Garfunkel were right, "the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls."
Somewhere in this tangled plot lies a corrupt police officer, some bodies that are taken from the dead, a few explosions, a flying helicopter sequence, Latin codes, stigmata and a whole lot of burning candles.
There is a basic flaw in films that threaten to end all existence: they very rarely do. Most directors are far too frightened to produce a movie that ends by telling everyone in the audience that they are dead. On occasion, exceptions are made. Recently (SPOILER OF ANOTHER MOVIE AHEAD), The Astronaut's Wife used this tactic which raised a few brows but hardly cleaned up at the box office.
Not long ago, the Catholic Church got in an uproar over the release of Dogma, another film that used the bible and some astray theories to threaten a negation of existence. End of Days takes it all even further with gun toting priests, ritual birth ceremonies with snake's blood and a massive shootout in a church. It remains a mystery as to why the church didn't get upset over this production.
The movie does have some other problems. Satan is a far too agreeable character. At one point many viewers may actually root for him. As in many action works, there are numerous continuity issues such as the convenient vanishing of walls and violations of physics. The writers must have seen how Kevin Pollak was merely reprising his excellent performance from The Usual Suspects in this film and slipped in a blatantly ripped off line, "Satan's greatest trick was convincing man he didn't exist." Perhaps the movie's tagline, "The end is near," is meant to reassure audiences of the closing credits.
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