The Relic A review by Joe Chamberlain
Starring Penelope Ann Miller; Tom Sizemore; Linda Hunt; James Whitmore & Clayton Rohner
Penelope Ann Miller and Tom Sizemore star in this formula monster flick set in a museum. Miller stars as a museum curator in the insect department. Sizemore as a Chicago homicide cop. One of Miller's colleagues has sent an artifact back to the museum from Africa. He has packed it in palm leaves, which just happened to be infested with something. On the way back to Chicago by freighter, that something begins to get a bit bigger and mutate. It eventually kills everyone on board the ship. When it finally arrives in Chicago, the killer creature moves into the museum. Which, conveniently enough, has a large, dark labyrinth of chambers and tunnels. Just the place for a killer mutated whatever to hide, and that much more difficult for the police to track it down. Of course, the cops don't know they are on the trail of a giant killer monster, they think that the deaths on the ship are the result of a serial killer. Add to that the fact that the museum is just days away from hosting a big fundraiser that will inevitably lead to a veritable smorgasbord of human entrees for this big ugly monster.
The whole cast is just going through the motions on this one. They seem to instinctively know that this isn't a great movie, but rather a pretty formula one at best. Not even the amazingly talented Linda Hunt distinguishes herself in this one.
The Relic does have its share of scary moments. Most of the scares come from the search for the monster in the tunnels under the museum. I'll have to give the writers credit for setting this film in an old museum, since the nooks and crannies can make for pretty frightening terrain. The rest of the writing is pretty much your typical horror film stuff. With the characters doing the exact opposite of what normal people would do in this situation. Most people, when they thought that a killer was on the loose in a museum, would stay they heck away from it. Not these geniuses. They are all hell-bent on throwing a mighty shindig.
The creature's special effects are nothing special either. It's nothing that we all haven't seen a dozen times before in monster movies. The Relic is your average monster movie. Nothing about it distinguishes it from the rest of the pack. It probably will satisfy some fans of this genre, but most will be left pretty underwhelmed.
6/10
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