ERNEST RIDES AGAIN
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1993 James Berardinelli
Rating (Linear 0 to 10): 0.9
Date Released: 11/12/93 Running Length: 1:34 Rated: PG (Cartoon violence)
Starring: Jim Varney, Ron K. James, Duke Ernsberger, Jeffrey Pillars, Linda Kash Director: John Cherry Producer: Stacy Williams Screenplay: John Cherry and William M. Akers Released by Emshell Producers Group
Ernest: the one-joke concept that refuses to die, no matter how badly we want him to. It's an amazing--an pathetic--testimonial to American culture that a series of television commercials is capable of spawning a movie and umpteen sequels (I believe this is the fourth in the series, but it's entirely possible I missed one somewhere). Once again, Jim Varney returns in the role that demands no acting whatsoever, and given that he never seems to do anything else, it was quite an eye opening experience to see him turn in a performance as Jed Clampett in the new BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.
Normally, at this point of a review, I give some idea of what the plot is about. This is a problem for ERNEST RIDES AGAIN, because even after sitting through an hour and a half of this unmitigated stupidity, I'm still not sure what happened. It's possible that I dozed off somewhere in the middle, but I can't be certain because the same stuff was happening when I opened my eyes as when I closed them.
The premise has something to do with the pet theory of a Dr. Abner Mellon (one of the most annoying characters in the history of cinema--a whining professor with a bad Elvis impersonation). His claim is that the British Crown Jewels aren't in England, but are instead hidden in an old civil war cannon called Goliath. Ernest stumbles upon this by accident, and then he and the good doctor end up riding the runaway cannon from pursuers that include Mellon's wife, a team of British secret service agents with bad accents, a nasty bad guy who wants the jewels for his private collection, a farmer with a pitchfork, and a pair of vacuum cleaner salesmen. I'm not making this up.
Ordinarily, this might seem like a decent premise for a madcap movie--not Shakespeare to be sure, but at least something watchable. Alas, it isn't so (although this could definitely be in the "so bad it's good" category). It's rare for me to give scores under the 1.0 mark, but ERNEST RIDES AGAIN definitely deserves to be placed in this exclusive category (occupied by such icons as CHILDREN OF THE CORN 2, LEPRECHAUN, and last year's bottom-of-the-barrel SPLIT SECOND).
Perhaps I should have taken it as a sign when the film broke at the beginning of the five-minute short preceding ERNEST RIDES AGAIN. (Called "Mr. Bill Goes to Washington", this Walter Williams creation is a nadir in satire, but I never cared much for Mr. Bill anyway, so what do I know?) And just when I thought the main feature couldn't possibly be worse than its lead in.... Well, it just goes to show that Hollywood is still capable of surprising me.
It's a difficult task for a movie to frighten me. I've sat through any number of horror flicks without batting an eyelash, but ERNEST RIDES AGAIN managed something that not even HALLOWEEN could accomplish. When the film came to a close with the promise of another sequel (ERNEST GOES TO SCHOOL, for anyone who cares), it was all I could do to keep from running from the theater in terror.
- James Berardinelli (blake7@cc.bellcore.com)
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