James Woods is such a volatile, energetic performer that he somehow makes every film he's in his own, and does so by charging up the screen with tightly controlled rage and tension. The same cannot be said for the turgid, monotonous shenanigans of "John Carpenter's Vampires," a shallow film where Woods is reduced to a one-dimensional sideshow attraction.
"Vampires" is set in New Mexico, where Woods plays vampire hunter Jack Crow, whose mission is to search and destroy vampire nests in the countryside. He's assisted by an anonymous motley crew of professionals armed with crossbows, shotguns, and fishing lines (so they can drag the vampires out into the sun). Oh, and there's a priest who comes along to bless each burnt vampire corpse. The master vampire, Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith) eludes them during one of their raids. As an act of revenge, he visits a party they are at that same night and slaughters nearly everyone of them except for Crow and his partner (numbingly played by Daniel Baldwin). Crow is then hired by the Vatican to kill Valek and any other vampire nests that may have developed. In the meantime, Valek's mission is to find a cross that will enable vampires to walk the earth during the day.
"Vampires" could have been an old-fashioned B-movie with lots of gore and witticisms courtesy of Crow and his crew. Once the crew is vanquished, though, the movie loses focus and treads along cliched, charted territory. We get the hooker (Sheryl Lee) who's bitten by Valek and can telepathically anticipate his every move; the typical stake-in-the-heart theatrics (there must be more original methods of killing vampires); the naive priest who turns out to be heroic; and so on and so forth. As directed by Carpenter, this movie is sluggishly paced and completely devoid of humor or horror. There's also an anticlimactic ending that fails to deliver any thrills at all, surprisingly.
There are some pluses. For instance, when the vampires emerge from the ground (as opposed to coffins), it is spectacularly shot and very menacing. One can also savor the former "Twin Peaks" star, Sheryl Lee, who brings an element of empathy to her stereotypical hooker character - she's abused and slapped around by Jack and his sidekick in such a manner that you can't help but care for her. Griffith is perfectly cast as Valek, and he'd be great as Lestat ("Interview with the Vampire") if anyone cares to make another film version of Anne Rice's novels. I also enjoyed the musical score by Mr. Carpenter himself.
This pseudo-horror western is not the first of its kind. I fondly remember the cult film by director Kathryn Bigelow called "Near Dark," which also had a western setting and an interesting central relationship between a vampire couple. At least that movie moved along at a good pace. This one represents a new low in Carpenter's career - he's lost the element of surprise.
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