MAN'S BEST FRIEND
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1993 James Berardinelli
Rating (Linear 0 to 10): 3.1
Date Released: 11/19/93 Running Length: 1:26 Rated: R (Violence, gore, language)
Starring: Ally Sheedy, Lance Henriksen, Fredric Lehne,
Robert Costanzo, Max
Director: John Lafia
Producer: Bob Engelman
Screenplay: John Lafia
Music: Joel Goldsmith
Released by New Line Cinema
A woman enters a secret laboratory filled with screeching, caged animals, each the product of evil scientific experiments. While there's no sign "Raw Meat" tattooed on her forehead, anyone familiar with the genre knows her chances of getting out alive. Cut to later that evening, when hard- hitting TV reporter Lori Tanner (Ally Sheedy, looking like she should have stayed in bed) breaches the apparently-impenetrable security at a company called EMAX (which consists of a solitary guard who's never on duty and any number of unlocked doors). There, Lori finds animal atrocities, and decides to release a lovable 200-pound dog named Max and take him home. Dr. Jarret (Lance Henriksen) is suitably upset by the dog-napping, and lets the police know his feelings in yet another embarrassingly over-the-top performance by an actor I once respected. The problem is that Max isn't a normal dog (what a surprise!), but a genetically engineered killing machine, and the drug that keeps him under control is about to wear off. Instead of MAN'S BEST FRIEND, we're about to get MAD DOG IS GORY.
Actually, there aren't too many deaths in this movie, but in some ways that's unfortunate, because when MAN'S BEST FRIEND isn't adding to its body count, it's spending time showing the characters running around getting nothing done, engaging in poorly-written dialogue, or participating in some inane expository scene. Admittedly, there are a few nice touches (such as Max's "courting" of a female dog to the tune of "Puppy Love") which show that writer/director John Lafia was willing to make occasional stabs at parody. One could make a case, I suppose, that the entire movie is a wonderfully-conceived satire, but I don't think that was intention, nor does the overall script seem to bear out such an interpretation.
Possibly the most bizarre sequence in MAN'S BEST FRIEND, and certainly the one to get cat-lovers up in arms, is when Max chases an orange tabby up a tree, follows it, then eats it whole. The cat's apparent crime is to have annoyed a couple of kids who, frankly, have personalities that make them appealing dog-fodder (it doesn't happen; no one under the age of 18 gets mauled).
If there was any question of the direction in which Ally Sheedy's career is going, it's answered here, where she turns in a non-performance in which she somehow manages to get out-acted by a dog. Lance Henriksen, whose career peaked in ALIENS, notches another unimpressive credit for his already-tarnished resume. The most interesting thing about Dr. Jarret is his short bleached-blond hair.
As horror/thriller movies go, MAN'S BEST FRIEND has a double disadvantage: it's slow-moving and the monster dog isn't immune to bullets. In fact, the ending is so abrupt and anticlimactic that it will leave many veterans of the genre feeling cheated. (Where's the inevitable resurrection where the bad guy comes back for a second go-'round?) This film has the capacity for disappointing just about everybody, especially someone who walks in expecting to see BEETHOVEN'S SECOND.
- James Berardinelli (blake7@cc.bellcore.com)
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