SNOW DAY A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 2000 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
Kids all across Syracuse are glued to the radio, and what they hear is music to their ears, albeit not to their parents'. No, it's not the latest hot band. It's the announcer with the blessed news that the schools are closed for the day. After an unseasonable hot spell, the town has just awaken to find that they just had a record snowfall.
Chris Koch's SNOW DAY is a juvenile comedy that has a few nice moments, but it puts you to sleep more often than it tickles your funny bone. The poster boy for this lame farce would be the principal of the kids' school. He's a lanky doofus who shows up periodically for the sole purpose of being pummeled by snowballs thrown from off-screen, presumably by his students. He's an embarrassment to card-carrying adults.
The sweetest guy in the movie and the biggest surprise is Chevy Chase as Tom Branston, the number three television weatherman in a three-station market. Tom's producer (Pam Grier) makes him wear silly outfits in an attempt to boast their market share. He hates it but feels forced to go along. In a semi-serious role, rather than his usual cheesy part, Chase generates a modest amount of genuine sympathy for his character. Although his acting isn't much, at least it isn't his usual abysmal performance.
The weather man and his wife (Jean Smart) have three kids, Randy (Connor Matheus), a precocious little kid, Natalie (Zena Grey), an adventuresome preteen and Hal (Mark Webber), a teenager with raging hormones.
Hal and his best buddy, Lane (Schuyler Fisk, the daughter of Sissy Spacek), hang out together as he dreams of dating the most popular girl in class, Claire (Emmanuelle Chriqui), a golden goddess and a champion athlete. Claire, however, is part of "America's Dream Team," as her popular and pompous boyfriend refers to their relationship.
The show's villain is provided by a hillbilly known only as the Snowplow Man (Chris Elliott). With teeth that look like dirty rocks, he's a vicious slob who likes nothing better than mowing down helpless kids with his monstrous machine. The kids believe than the chains on his plow come from the braces of crushed children.
The movie's two plots, both of which occur during the snow day, involve Hal and Natalie. Hal, ignoring Lane, pursues his dream girl. Meanwhile, Natalie and her friends try to thwart the Snowplow Man in order to force the school to declare a second snow day.
The movie doesn't have many jokes that you haven't heard before. Randy, for example, is a pest who blows bubbles in his food with a straw and who gets his fist stuck in his mouth. The script also features a smelly bunch of flatulent fat boy jokes -- boy, that's original.
The only good line in the movie comes from Hal, who tells us what happens to schools not lucky enough to live in snow country. "I've heard that in Los Angeles they get off for bad-hair days," he explains. That's it. The picture has only one good laugh, and now you know it, leaving no reason to waste your money on the rest.
SNOW DAY runs 1:29. It is rated PG for brief, mild peril and language and would be acceptable for most kids.
My son Jeffrey, age 10, gave it ** 1/2, liking Randy the best. Much of the film kept putting him to sleep, literally.
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
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