'3 Black Chicks Review...'
The Whole Nine Yards (2000) Rated PG-13; running time 105 minutes Genre: Comedy IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/Title?0190138 Official site: http://www.nineyards.net/ Written by: Mitchell Kapner Directed by: Jonathan Lynn Starring: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Rosanna Arquette, Michael Clarke Duncan, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollak, Harland Williams
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 Review URL: http://www.3blackchicks.com/bamsnineyards.html
I can give or take Bruce Willis; he's ok as an actor, but he generally doesn't come close to rockin' my movie-watchin' world. I only know that Matthew Perry is on TV's "Friends" because I always flip quickly past that show as soon as its theme song comes on. But the man of the "Nine Yards" Hour for me was Michael Clarke Duncan, who played "Frankie Figs" Figueroa here. After seeing him shine so brightly in my favorite flick of 1999 - The Green Mile- I made it a point to catch anything he's in from now on, to see if "Green" was just a fluke, or if he'd always be typecast as the Big Black Guy (with, of course, a Heart Of Gold). But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The Story (WARNING: some spoilers contained below): -From the official web page: Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry) is a nice dentist dentist living in suburban Montreal. His new next door neighbor, Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis), is a hit man hiding out from a dangerous Chicago crime family. Despite their differences, Oz and Jimmy have one thing in common: someone's trying to kill them both. For Jimmy, avoiding a couple of hired killers is child's play. But for Oz, it's a whole new ball game.
To stay alive, they're going to have to stick together - Jimmy with his cunning and cold-blooded accuracy and Oz with his dental tools.
The Upshot When I found out that "Nine" had a sneak preview locally, I checked out its official movie site; after I read the above description, I rolled my eyes, held my nose, and got my tickets. And was pleasantly surprised to find out, once again, that, PR Machines often misinform and mislead the public about their product; that is, there's way more to The Whole Nine Yards than that lame description would lead you to believe.
The story started out slow (and no, I don't mean "slowly"), and ended with a whimper instead of a bang. But that middle...by the time I finally left the theater, I had already resolved to watch it again next week when it's released nationwide. The storyline was nothing to write home about--we've seen variations of it before--but the way it was told is what made this comedy work. It had a very natural flow to it: something that doesn't often happen in comedies, especially not the sitcom variety. I found myself wondering where the time went, and almost surprised that it was ending so soon when it was over (and not in the "that's it?" way I was with Eye Of The Beholder). And if by some stretch of the imagination, "Nine" could technically be labelled a "sitcom", it wasn't like any I've seen before. I never had a problem with suspending my disbelief [well, rarely, as in the case of Ms. Arquette and Mr. Pollak; but I'll get to that later]. I'm looking forward to going again, if only to catch the bits I missed the first time around.
A nice touch was the use of jazz throughout; in these days of "soundtracks" being really just a vehicle to promote whichever singers or rappers the producer happens to be in bed wi...er, like, it's refreshing to hear music that's actually part of the movie, rather than tacked on to sell CDs. Of course, with Cynthia Biddle having gotten a lot of screen time in "Nine", the question is begged whether she was...liked...by the "Nine's" producer herself. But no matter; I'd rather hear jazz that counts, than rock or rap that doesn't.
The actors and their characters, though, were the real story behind "Nine". During his heyday in the "Moonlighting" TV series and Die Hard movies, Willis hogged the spotlight away from his co-stars; whether on purpose or accidently, he treated the world as if it were his very own personal stage. Not so in "Nine"; here, his "Tulip" was much more subdued, but at the same time, (for lack of a better word) commanding. There's a noticeable shift partway through the movie, when Jimmy takes on a mean streak and the old hammy Willis starts to come to the fore, but that doesn't last for long, and Willis again blends in with the not-quite-ensemble cast. With the caveat that I haven't yet seen The Sixth Sense in its entirety, I opine that "Nine" is Bruce Willis' best work since Die Hard (the original, of course).
Matthew Perry really surprised me; I fully expected his Oz to be a one-dimensional doofus, pratfalling his way across the screen only to speed past Go, collect his $200 Bucks, and go back to his TV show. Well, he did sorta-kinda, but in a charming way. Though Oz too easily became "wise" about halfway through the flick, and his relationship with Jimmy's estranged wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) worked my nerve, I looked past that. Oz getting creamed by Figs, running into glass doors--hey, that was just plain funny. Sue me for liking physical comedy; I Loved Lucy, too.
Dragging the movie down somewhat were Rosanna Arquette as Oz's screechy wife Sophie, Harland Williams as Buffalo Steve, a "hitter" that Sophie hires, and surprisingly, Kevin Pollak's Janni Gogolack, leader of the Chicago Hungarian mob that Jimmy ratted on (which is the reason why he moved to Canada in the first place). Janni was basically a one-trick pony in this movie; his schtick was the way he slowly mumbled and "mispronounced" words in a supposedly Hungarian accent [(ObInsideJoke) Gee's Faffamems, it weren't]. Worth only a quick chuckle or two, it seemed a waste of Pollak's talents. Buffalo Steve was nothing more than (literally?) a stiff; though (I guess) the character was needed to advance the story, there was far too little explanation of what he was there for, to make him work. And not to be outdone by her sister Patricia "Gots Ta Fix Mah Teefes" Arquette, Rosanna just made me wanna smack Sophie upside the head whenever she opened her mouth and out spilled the most phony French-Canadian accent I've ever heard. Yeah, I know Sophie was supposed to be unlikable, but was Rosanna? Still, these were minor quibbles, to be sure; they were distractions, but not detrimentally so.
There's one part of the movie that really ground my liver, though; I won't get into it, because it'd spoil the whole thing too much, but it shouldn't be hard to figure it out once you've seen it through to the end. Maybe I'll open up a discussion of it on the "Viewer Voices" webboard after the movie opens nationwide next week.
The "Black Factor" [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith]: Today, Bammer's having a two-for-one special: I dish on the "Black Factor" and the "Female Factor". Ain't it kewl?
So, how did Michael Clarke Duncan acquit himself? Quite well, I thought. There were no vestiges of John Coffey to be found in Duncan's portrayal of Frankie Figs, one of Yanni's crew, sent out to get Jimmy. His natural "bigness" notwithstanding, my fears of his being typecast as the Big Black Guy, were unfounded; unlike Coffey, Duncan didn't play Figs as Larger Than Life. Yes, he's Big, and yes, he's Black--but neither were really The Point here (except in as much as a hitman's hitman needs to be foreboding to put the fear in their target). The truth will out in future films, of course, but for now, Frankie Figs was as far as Duncan could get from John Coffey; and the good thing is, both John and Figs were served well by the same actor.
As for the "Female Factor", leaving all thoughts of the Arquette sisters aside [gives me the hives just to think of that family. Who says the Baldwin Brothers are the only sibling scourge of Hollywood? I know I don't say that...but I do digress.], the FF is represented well in "Nine" by two actresses. The first is Natasha Henstridge as Cynthia: a pretty version of Julia Roberts, Henstridge seemed to know her "place" in this movie was to be pretty and frustrated, and she came through admirably; in this, she should be able to challenge Roberts' crown as "Highly Paid Actress With No Real Talent". But stealing the show was the fall-out funny Cynthia Peet as Jill, the Dental Assistant With A Twist. Already funny when the audience thought she was "just" a secretary, Jill had me rollin' in almost every scene she was in, especially after Oz told her about "The Tulip". Peet's enthusiam was contagious, and seemed to make the other actors performances go up a notch or two: the scenes with Jill, Oz, and Jimmy interacting, were great to watch--as was Cynthia and Jill's scene together.
I think I'll be following Amanda Peet around the Big Screen, too.
Bammer's Bottom Line: If I had to describe The Whole Nine Yards in one word, that word would be "fun"; the story was fun for the audience (after the slow start), and the cast and crew seemed to be having fun telling the story. That's a rare combination in movie comedies these days, what with "comedy" being co-opted more and more with "drama" to make "dramadies". Bammer sez, ain't nuttin' wrong with being straight (but intelligently) funny. More comedies oughta try it, dig?
"The Whole Nine Yards" (rating: greenlight): Mark the calendar, y'all: on February 12, 2000, Bammer actually liked a "broad comedy". Will wonders never cease...
3 Black Chicks...Movie Reviews With Flava! /~\ Rose "Bams" Cooper /','\ 3BlackChicks Enterprises /','`'\ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 /',',','/`, EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com ICQ: 7760005 `~-._'c / http://www.3blackchicks.com/ `\ ( http://www.dealpilot.com/?partner=1987 /====\
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