During a vacation in London a few years ago, I had a free evening and decided I'd go down to the local cinema and see director Mike Leigh's "Secrets and Lies." But when I told the friends I was visiting what I had in mind, I was informed that since it was Monday night, that was not possible. It was, they informed me, Ladies Night, and no men would be admitted. I was absolutely indignant. What kind of country was this anyway? Why in the United States, I declared, anyone with the price of admission could attend a movie any time they wanted to, regardless of their sex. Ladies Night, indeed -- ha! After having seen "Hanging Up," however, I think maybe instituting Ladies Night Stateside might not be a bad idea. But don't just limit it to Mondays: Make it every evening this film is playing. Trust me, considering the movie's plot involves lots of crying over wrecked birthday parties and stolen stuffing recipes, most guys -- and more than a few women as well -- probably wouldn't want to know what they're missing. Adapted by Nora and Delia Ephron from Delia's semi-autobiographical book of the same name, "Hanging Up" brings together a trio of dynamite actresses to play three two-dimensional roles. Diane Keaton (who also directed) is Georgia, a wildly successful magazine publisher who seems to be Martha Stewart and Diana Vreeland rolled into one. Lisa Kudrow plays Georgia's much younger sister Maddy, a petulant soap star who savors her role as the baby of the family. Squashed in between is Meg Ryan as Eve, the Jan Brady of the bunch, the middle child who has to clean up everybody else's messes because Georgia is too busy and Maddy too bratty. Chief among Eve's concerns is her salty-tongued father Lou (Walter Matthau), a former screenwriter who's senile and seemingly headed directly for death's door. He's not too busy, however, to spend his few lucid moments obsessing over the size of John Wayne's genitalia, something Eve finds both charming and puzzling. "He has a bad case of uproar," one observer notes of Lou. Meanwhile, Eve seems afflicted with the kind of adorable klutziness Ryan tends to turn to whenever one of her characters can't come up with anything else to do. See Eve get knocked down and dragged around by a huge dog. See Eve trip over her son's toys. See Eve tumble over her husband (Adam Arkin) while frantically trying to grab the phone. In its first hour, "Hanging Up" is almost as irritating as a theatergoer who feels compelled to answer his cell phone during the performance. Paired with a strong co-star, Ryan can sparkle but when she's left on her own -- as she is for much of the movie's first half -- her mannerisms can become grating in no time at all. Throw in a pointless and mildly offensive subplot about an Iranian doctor (Duke Moosekian) and his mother and you've got a real yawner of a first act. Once Keaton and the cracklingly good Kudrow enter the picture, "Hanging Up" gets a much-needed jolt of energy. It's impossible to really believe the three are sisters -- there's an obvious 20-year gap between Georgia and Maddy -- but the chemistry between the women makes up for the lack of credibility. Director Keaton also seems to have enjoyed shooting the scenes of sibling rivalry and revelry since they have a spryness not found in the Ryan-Matthau and Ryan-Arkin sequences. Those with a low tolerance for "chick flicks" should be warned this film does include -- in addition to those spoiled birthdays and stuffing theft recriminations -- a food fight in which Georgia gets flour on her sleek black dress and screams, "This is Donna Karan!" If you can identify with her predicament, "Hanging Up" is probably an experience you shouldn't miss. James Sanford
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