GHOST IN THE MACHINE
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1994 James Berardinelli
Rating (Linear 0 to 10): 0.5
Date Released: 12/29/93 Running Length: 1:35 Rated: R (Violence, language)
Starring: Karen Allen, Chris Mulkey, Ted Marcoux, Wil Horneff,
Jessica Walter
Director: Rachel Talalay
Producer: Paul Schiff
Screenplay: William Davies and William Osborne
Music: Graeme Revell
Released by Twentieth Century Fox
I didn't expect GHOST IN THE MACHINE to be this bad. Going in, I was aware that it wasn't likely to make the Top 10 list, but I was curious about how this hi-tech horror concept was going to be implemented. Never in my darkest nightmares did I imagine what was waiting in ambush in that darkened theater.
Karl Hoffman (Ted Marcoux), a.k.a. the "Address Book Killer," is on the loose, slaughtering people in their homes, then driving recklessly on rain-slicked roads. One night after spending some time butchering a few helpless victims, he decides to pass a car on a two-lane highway. Crossing over the double-yellow line, he veers into the path of an oncoming eighteen-wheeler, and it's good-bye Mr. Serial Killer. Actually, he's not dead, and what's left of him arrives at the hospital in the middle of a particularly violent electrical storm. He happens to be in the MRI chamber when lightning strikes a transformer. Sparks are everywhere and, somehow, Karl ends up transformed into a computer virus. There, deep within his electronic domain, he plots death and mayhem--beginning with a woman named Terry Munroe (Karen Allen) and her thirteen-year old son Josh (Wil Horneff). The only man is his way is the valiant hacker hero Bram Walker (that's Walker, not Stoker, played by Chris Mulkey).
First of all, this is not an April Fools review. I didn't make up the above plot, although I admit it sounds far too stupid--even by Hollywood's standards--to have made it to the screen. Considering the low (nonexistent?) quality of the final product, it's odd that Rachel Talalay allowed her name to be attached to GHOST IN THE MACHINE. Maybe it's really an alias, although why she couldn't just use Alan Smithee, like every other dissatisfied director, is beyond my understanding. It couldn't be that she's pleased with this movie, could it??? The mind boggles at the possibility.
Every year has its worst movie. 1992 had SPLIT SECOND. Now 1993 has GHOST IN THE MACHINE. Actually, they're a lot alike, at least superficially. Both are distinguished by utterly inane premises (SPLIT SECOND offered Satan as a serial killer). Both feature moronic scripts, inept direction, and bland "performances." If she ever wants another job, Karen Allen will probably have to spend a lot of time convincing people that it was really her evil twin sister in GHOST IN THE MACHINE.
Then there's the issue of technological accuracy. The computer virus/serial killer manages to migrate from PCs to microwave ovens via power cables. It does this sort of thing repeatedly, getting into video cameras, hot air dryers in a men's room, a car radio, and a dishwasher. Unless there's been some amazing leap of data transfer technology that I'm not aware of, viruses cannot be transmitted through power lines. Of course, since we're dealing with homicidal bit streams here, the rules could have changed.
Scientific considerations aside, GHOST IN THE MACHINE has problems with issues of basic credibility. For example, if fifteen police cars arrived outside a quiet house in the middle of the night, and the officers opened fire without provocation, isn't it reasonable to assume that this might lead to some sort of incident, especially if an innocent woman ends up in the hospital? The last thing one would expect is for the entire incident to be ignored, but that's exactly what happens. I guess when you're busy chasing a digital mass murderer, you have more important things to worry about.
At least there are some decent special effects to distract the viewer's attention from the story, right? Wrong. The visual effects aren't much better than those found in any typical video game system. They're repetitive and unimaginative.
Of course, someone could make the argument that GHOST IN THE MACHINE is actually a cautionary tale warning of the dangers of giving computers too much control. The more humanity relies upon them, the greater the danger of unleashing something that we neither understand nor can control. The producers would probably applaud this interpretation. Personally, I don't buy it. As far as I'm concerned, this is just a very, very, very bad motion picture.
As the saying goes, if it walks like a turkey, looks like a turkey, and gobbles like a turkey, then it must be a ....
Wait a moment ... Something's wrong. I'm having trouble keying in the rest of this review ... How come this word processor isn't functioning properly ...? Why is the modem lit up like that? What in the ... It's not as if my computer is hooked up with ... This can't be hap
<*PORT CLOSED. SESSION TERMINATED*>
- James Berardinelli (blake7@cc.bellcore.com)
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