The Whole Nine Yards (2000) 3 stars out of 4. Starring Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rosanne Arquette, Natasha Henstridge, Kevin Pollak and Amanda Peet.
Despite containing graphic violence, strong language and nudity, "The Whole Nine Yards" is a charming screwball comedy that - minus the above-mentioned contemporary touches - could have been produced in the 1930s.
The story, which is not as frenetic as it could be, contains several double crosses, oddball characters and plot twists familiar to this genre.
The plot centers on Dr. Nicholas `Oz' Oseransky (Matthew Perry) who learns that his new next door neighbor `Jimmy Jones' (Bruce Willis) is, in reality, Jimmy `The Tulip' Tudeski, a notorious hitman recently released from prison after serving a five-year stretch for ratting out his former boss.
Oz's shrewish wife, Sophie (Rosanna Arquette) wants him killed so she can collect his insurance money to pay back money her father, Oz's former partner, embezzled.
Instead, she convinces Oz to collect a `finder's fee' by contacting the Gogolack family who have sworn revenge against Jimmy for turning state's evidence.
Of course, nothing works out as planned, as each character has a secret agenda and connives against the other.
Caught in the middle of all the scheming is poor Oz. Perry goes through the entire film looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Perry gives a physical, near-slapstick performance as he stumbles, falls, spits and stutters through situations that are way over his head.
This is the sort of role Bob Hope would have played in the 1930s or ‘40s, except that Perry lacks the false macho bravado that Hope's cowardly character would bring to such a part.
In contrast, Willis gives a rather underplayed performance as the cool hitman unfazed by all conspiracies going on around him. Willis, with tongue in cheek, realizes "The Whole Nine Yards" is a comedic romp and rolls along with a twinkle in his eye, enjoying himself immensely.
The film is stolen by Amanda Peet as Jill, Oz's office assistant whose ambition in life is to be a hitman (hitwoman? hitperson?). She is as excited to meet Jimmy as a teen-ager would be to meet Ricky Martin. She keeps a scrapbook and knows all his hits, she brags.
Also in the cast are Michael Clarke Duncan as a fellow hitman and pal of Jimmy, Kevin Pollak as the revenge-seeking Gogolak and Natasha Henstridge as Jimmy's wife and Oz's love interest.
"The Whole Nine Yards" has a few slow spots. At about two hours, it's a bit too long. Some tighter editing could have given it a more frantic pace, which would have helped.
Comedy, especially one in this vein, needs to gallop. The audience should not be allowed to catch its breath, as the story races from setup to setup.
The other deficiency is Arquette's performance. Her French accent is terrible and her character is too cartoonish, too over-the-top, even for a comedy of this ilk.
Despite these minor flaws, "The Whole Nine Yards" is most satisfying. And no one will have to put a gun to your head to make you laugh.
Bob Bloom is the film critic at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, IN. He can be reached by e-mail at bloom@journal-courier.com or at bobbloom@iquest.net
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