The Next Best Thing (2000). 2 1/2 stars out of 4. Starring Rupert Everett, Madonna and Benjamin Bratt. Written by Thomas Ropelewski. Directed by John Schlesinger.
Cinematically, what is considered the traditional `nuclear' family - mom, dad and kids - all living under one roof is as scarce as Pat Buchanan at a gay rights rally.
And lately, we've experienced a slew of movies in which non-traditional families abound.
Think "Object of My Affection," "Big Daddy," "Cruel Intentions," just to name a few. Add to that list "The Next Best Thing."
"The Next Best Thing" should be an easy movie to like. It contains an attractive cast, led by Rupert Everett, Madonna and Benjamin Bratt.
Yet something about the movie is unsettling, almost condescending.
Despite its messy plot contrempts, the movie is too tidy, too orderly.
The story is somewhat similar to "Object of My Affection." Abbie (Madonna), an attractive, successful single woman is continually unlucky in love (her latest flame dumped her because she is too complex - i.e., she's intelligent).
Her best friend is Robert (Everett), a handsome, successful landscaper, who also happens to be gay. Robert is the one Abbie goes crying to whenever one of her romances dies.
On the Fourth of July Abbie and Robert have too much to drink while celebrating and wind up in bed. And before you can say diaper service, Abbie is a mom.
Abbie and Robert decide to live together - but not marry - and raise their son, Sam.
This works for a few years until Abbie meets Ben Cooper (Bratt). The two fall in love, decide to marry and Robert founds himself odd man out.
No need to tell you the rest. Anyone with a fundamental knowledge of how these movies work can figure it out.
On the surface, "The Next Best Thing" is a glossy examination of the complexities of today's modern family in which mom and dad are not married, and the two may even have diverse sexual orientations.
And while Robert presents a positive gay role model, he is too perfect, too clean. He's the exemplary father, model house mate, consummate friend. He's just too darn perfect. He's a heterosexual's fantasy of the perfect, non-threatening gay man.
I know nothing of screenwriter Thomas Ropelewski's sexual politics, but his script, while not condescending toward gays, seems to take great pains to present them as good people - make that extraordinary - loving, doting, unselfish and giving.
And while this may be true, flashing it across the screen in capital letters calls to mind the line from "Hamlet," `the lady doth protest too much.' It is as if he is overcompensating for making his protagonist gay.
That said, though, "The Next Best Thing" is a pretty movie. Everyone has such pearly teeth.
Everett gives a strong, solid performance as Robert. He is wise, witty and wonderful, yet also vulnerable. He carries the movie and is the center of attention when on-screen, even against Madonna.
The actress-singer's Abbie is more problematic. She's sharp and beautiful, yet seems lacking in confidence and self-assurance. It's difficult to reconcile, making her character contradictory.
Bratt is compassionate and tender as the new man in Abbie's life. He only wants what is best for all concerned, including Robert, and refuses to try to usurp Robert's place in Sam's life.
Overall, "The Next Best Thing" is an engaging, but sanitized movie. Putting a few smudges on the main protagonists wouldn't have hurt, and neither would being a little less politically correct.
Bob Bloom is the film critic at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, IN. He can be reached by e-mail at bloom@journal-courier.com or at bobbloom@iquest.net
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