"What Planet Are You From?" -- Cosmic Stupidity by Homer Yen (c) 2000
"Planet" is so bad, it's actually kind of funny. I'm not recommending this film, but in the right frame of mind (the frame of mind that develops after a couple of beers), this might actually be an acceptable 90 minute diversion. There is a gentle sweetness that resides deep beneath the film's core. But be warned - even Forrest Gump would find this movie dumb.
"Planet's" premise is about an advanced world that is populated by only men. Led by the stonefaced Ben Kingsley, this race has bred out emotions and has even evolved beyond the need for genitalia. Their agenda involves conquering other worlds not through interstellar battle, but through a more subversive method of breeding. One man (Garry Shandling) will be sent to Earth to begin colonization. He'll be 'equipped' with the right tool to carry out his task. And to prepare for his encounter with Earth women, he is trained to say all the right things. But just what are the right things to say? And even more pressing, how will the organ-deprived alien accomplish his mission of impregnating some unsuspecting Earth woman? The answers set the pace of this wry comedy, which for better or worse, will undoubtedly make you roll your eyes and groan with chagrin.
To prep Shandling, one lesson teaches him to nod in approval and say 'uh-huh' when a female is talking. Another lesson teaches him to start conversations with pick-up lines. He says things like "Can I have your autograph. You ARE Miss America, aren't you?" (this is where we roll our eyes and groan). Of course, Earth girls aren't easy, and this baffles our alien to no end. Shandling's perpetual look of childlike indecisiveness suits him well here. He represents the common man who is ill-prepared to meet women. The other comedic element focuses on his organ-deprived body. Genitalia is attached to his body (there is no male frontal nudity), but when he gets in the mood, there is this disconcerting humming noise that begins. This joke is revisited countless times, and now we're rolling our eyes and groaning again.
Certainly, his task is not an easy one. He's armed with lame pick-up lines, has a humming problem, becomes friends with a selfish scoundrel (Greg Kinnear) and eventually attracts the attention of a government official (John Goodman) who believes that he's not quite of this planet. The audience's task of staying the course is no less daunting. The movie finally picks up a bit with the introduction of Annette Benning as a recovering alcoholic who has been completely unlucky in love. But by this time, the original premise has run out of ideas, and the movie switches gears and becomes an awkward lesson about the fears of commitment and responsibility.
"Planet" could have been a much funnier movie. It needed to focus more on the man-versus-woman foibles rather than shifting the focus to the less funny issue of commitment. Still, the movie itself is not terrible, and admittedly, it made me chuckle a few times when I wasn't rolling my eyes. If nothing else, it certainly provided the best one-liner. Stately Ben Kingsley stares at the prosaic-looking John Goodman with a deadpan eye and says, "You look intelligent, but when you open your mouth, the effect is spoiled!" If you get any satisfaction from watching this movie, it'll be because you like Annette Benning (who gives a fine performance), or because you generally believe that all men are from Mars and that this movie will confirm all of your suspicions.
Grade: C S: 2 (some frontal nudity and scenes involving heavy breathing) V: 1 (one punch and a bloodless gunshot) L: 1 (mostly biological terms)
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