HERE ON EARTH (20th Century Fox) Starring: Chris Klein, Leelee Sobieski, Josh Hartnett, Bruce Greenwood, Annette O'Toole, Michael Rooker. Screenplay: Michael Seitzman. Producer: David T. Friendly. Director: Mark Piznarski. MPAA Rating: PG-13 (profanity, adult themes, sexual situations) Running Time: 97 minutes. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.
Mark Piznarski's HERE ON EARTH does not take place here on Earth. It takes place in a world of sun-dappled meadows, where golden backlighting sets every moth into glorious relief. It takes place in a world where lovers exchange sentiments the same shade of purple generally associated with Barney the Dinosaur. It takes place in a world where class difference is the ultimate impediment to happiness, where wealth is the ultimate evil, where love means never having to say you're sorry. Welcome to the world of HERE ON EARTH: Planet Melodrama.
I'm not about to dismiss melodrama out of hand; if daytime drama, professional wrestling and romance novels are any indication, people still love conflicts writ large and lacking in moral shadings. Even TITANIC, for all its spectacle, was essentially melodrama. But melodrama also has its own rules, and HERE ON EARTH consistently violates them. The set-up finds New England prep school student Kelley Morse (Chris Klein) celebrating his impending graduation by heading into the nearby town to make trouble with the locals. He ends up in a drag race with Jasper Arnold (Josh Hartnett) which results in the destruction of the town diner. Kelley and Jasper are then sentenced to spend the summer re-building the diner, which offers plenty of time for mutual attraction to bloom between Kelley and Jasper's longtime girlfriend Samantha Cavanaugh (Leelee Sobieski).
There are, of course, impediments to the Kelley/Samantha coupling in Michael Seitzman's script. Samantha's sister (Elaine Hendrix) has been left with a child after a fling with a guy from the same prep school, meaning the Cavanaughs are opposed. Kelley's father (Stuart Wilson) has big plans for his son that don't include small town girls, meaning he's opposed. And there's a twist of medical tragedy in store down the line. The two leads therefore proceed to play their embarrassingly scripted courtship for just the Hollywood concoction that it is. Klein alternately pouts over his plight and reveals his longings for a more fulfilling life; Sobieski plays the winsome heroine with Mary Pickford-esque sidelong glances. Their relationship doesn't resemble anything you would ever see between two actual human 18-year-olds, but that's fine. When Sam silences Kelley's fumbled attempt at an apology with an all-forgiving finger to the lips, you know you've been spending time in a place where romanticism trumps reality.
Still, there are little things that never feel right about this world. It's a problem that the rejected boyfriend is from a salt-of-the-earth farm family, meaning he can never play the Billy Zane TITANIC role of scowling villain. In fact, you'd almost root for Jasper to win out, if not for the fact that you may spend most of the film wanting desperately to reach through the screen to comb his hair. The disapproving Cavanaugh father (Bruce Greenwood) -- a sheriff, no less -- similarly becomes a weeping softie. The one villain who's allowed to be a villain is Kelley's industrialist dad, but we're cheated out of the one moment the film seemed to have been building to: Kelley's pointed repudiation of the life his father has planned for him. There's no moment of melodramatic satisfaction from seeing the bad guy get a good telling-off. For a melodrama, HERE ON EARTH seems awfully reluctant even to have a bad guy.
I'm not sure whether I could have embraced even a fully melodramatic HERE ON EARTH. Even in its basic premise, it's too awkward a melding of adult tear-jerker and doe-eyed teen appeal romance. Still, there's no question that melodrama can work when those involved are unashamed about the fact that they're creating melodrama. That's why people cheer and boo at wrestling matches; it's why people spend 20 years following their favorite soap operas. That should have been why the bonding of Kelley and Sam across opposite sides of the tracks would provide an emotionally cathartic experience. Instead, it's a half-hearted effort in a genre where heart is all that matters. The makers of HERE ON EARTH have made a visit to Planet Melodrama. They just don't seem ready to live there.
On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 mellow dramas: 5.
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