The Skulls (2000) Joshua Jackson, Paul Walker, Hill Harper, Leslie Bibb, Christopher McDonald, Steve Harris, William Peterson, Craig T. Nelson. Screenplay by John Pogue. Directed by Rob Cohen. 106 minutes. PG-13, 1 star
Review by Ed Johnson-Ott, NUVO Newsweekly www.nuvo.com Archive reviews at http://us.imdb.com/ReviewsBy?Edward+Johnson-Ott To receive reviews by e-mail at no charge, send subscription requests to ejohnsonott@prodigy.net or e-mail ejohnsonott-subscribe@onelist.com with the word "subscribe" in the subject line.
In preparation for his role in "The Skulls," actor Joshua Jackson researched the real Yale University secret society, the Skull & Bones, which served as model for the one portrayed in the thriller. He spoke with Entertainment Weekly Online about the group, whose roster includes former presidents William H. Taft and George Bush, as well as current candidate George W. Bush, and their kinky hazing rituals. Reportedly, an inductee "proves his worth" by getting shot up with Sodium Pentothal ("truth serum"), lying naked with another potential member for a round of "Liar's Hell" (a prolonged game of "Truth"), and – get this – masturbating in a coffin. "If George W. becomes president, I won't be able to look at him without laughing," said Jackson. "I mean, c'mon, he was wankin' in a coffin at Yale."
With such freaky background material, it would be reasonable to expect lots of lurid fun from "The Skulls," but instead we get the kind of dreary, half-hearted crap that the USA Network routinely palms off as made-for-TV movies.
Jackson, best known as Pacey from "Dawson's Creek," plays Luke McNamara, a blue collar kid struggling financially to stay in Ya--… well, they never actually call it Yale, although you can occasionally spot large "Y's" prominently affixed in the background. Luke's longtime townie pals now view him as uppity, so he hangs out with two campus buddies; crusading writer Will (Hill Harper) and plucky potential girlfriend Chloe (Leslie Bibb).
Soon enough, Luke receives a cryptic invitation from the Skulls. Despite warnings from Will about the dangers of shadow organizations ("if it's secret and powerful, it can't be good"), Luke eagerly follows instructions and gets drugged into unconsciousness, waking up in a coffin (presumably, he was too groggy to do any wankin') on a hilariously phony gothic set covered with other coffin-encased wannabe Skulls.
With spotlights swooping everywhere (the Skulls are real drama queens), Judge Litten Mandrake (Craig T. Nelson), leader of the group, strides into the chamber to lay down the law. Each member of the society is paired with a fellow inductee who will be his "soul mate," offering emotional support and counsel for life. The Skulls operate from an exhaustive rule book that covers any possible situation. "Our rules supersede all others," Litten intones as his soul mate, Senator Ames Levitt (William Peterson), looks on from the distance. Luke learns that his soul mate is none other than Litten's pretty boy son, Caleb (Paul Walker).
Life immediately changes for Luke, as the society deposits thousands in his bank account, presents him and the other new kids with bright, shiny sports cars (for a secret society, the Skulls sure are flashy) and hold grand dinners where dessert is a bevy of glamorous whores.
The party ends when Will turns up dead and Luke uncovers evidence that a Skull is responsible. The group deems him a threat, leading to the requisite chases, confrontations, yadda yadda. No cliché is left unused as the film slogs its way towards a grand finale featuring a good old-fashioned duel!
Every moment of "The Skulls" is just as idiotic as it sounds. Had the film explored the concept of secret societies, from the dynamics of the power structure to the eroticism that lies beneath the rituals and that "soul mate" business, this could have been interesting. Instead, director Rob Cohen is satisfied to present a painfully routine movie that grows sillier with each passing minute. The only mystery in "The Skulls" is why actors of Craig T. Nelson's caliber agreed to participate. Surely, the residuals he earns from "Coach" are big enough that he can afford to pass on garbage like this.
© 2000 Ed Johnson-Ott
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