'3 Black Chicks Review...'
WHERE THE MONEY IS (2000) Rated PG-13; running time 88 minutes Genre: Drama IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/Details?0149367 Official site: http://www.wherethemoneyismovie.com/ Written by: E. Max Frye Directed by: Marek Kanievska Starring: Paul Newman, Linda Fiorentino, Dermot Mulroney, Frankie Faison
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 Review URL: http://www.3blackchicks.com/bamsthemoney.html
Y'all remember that nasty Y2K thingy that everybody thought was just one big hoax? Well, I have a running theory: the Y2K bug didn't infect computers--it wormed its way into Hollywood's cameras this year...
The Story (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**): Carol Ann McKay (Linda Fiorentino) sees her glory days behind her; her brightest moment having been Prom Queen to husband Wayne (Dermot Mulroney) as King, she now marks time as a nurse in a nursing home in her small town while Wayne works the night shift.
Enter Henry Manning (Paul Newman), a famous bank robber in his youth--before he was caught in a bank vault--Henry is transferred from prison to Carol's nursing home after he has a debilitating stroke. Or so he wants everyone to believe. But Carol believes otherwise. Intrigued by Henry and by his exciting former life, she sets out to get a piece of the action by trying to draw him out of his haze; and she goes through extraordinary lengths to do so--much to Wayne's dismay.
The Upshot: It was surreal, going from the pleasure of almost instantly liking KEEPING THE FAITH, the movie I watched just before this one, to hating WHERE THE MONEY IS in about the same swiftness of time.
I noticed three things about "Money", right off the bat: first, it is only 88 minutes long, making it shorter than most run-of-the-mill Made For TV Movies these days. When I sat down to watch it, I realized why: "Money" is terribly edited. The hack job done on it put me in mind of a rabid butcher using a dull-edged spoon to cut up his cow because his boss didn't think he was quite ready to use sharp utensils. And even with that, I can't convey the absolute mess "Money"'s editor made of this movie; the cuts come so fast and furious at the beginning, I wasn't sure whether I was watching the movie, or outtakes of it. The third, and most insulting, thing I noticed about "Money", was that the storyline made absolutely no sense. I did not believe a single thing they were trying to "sell", not for a moment--partially because my husband works in Corrections and I know (at least in our state) that It Just Doesn't Work That Way--but mostly because I did not feel the actors believed it either.
I was embarrassed for the lot of them, most especially for Paul Newman. I have to give him props for making something of an effort, but the burden weighed him down, and he looked every bit his age. Hard to believe this was the same man who brought the weary yet bright-eyed Cool Hand Luke to the Silver Screen. As Wayne, Dermot Mulroney played Yet Another Doofus led around by his smaller head. Every time I started to see a light come on behind Mulroney's eyes, signaling that an actual character existed in there somewhere, the focus would shift back to Carol or Henry; and by the time the camera came back to him, the light would be out again. And someone should remind the makeup artist that worked on Linda Fiorentino, that when a person cries, their tears usually run down in a straight line; they're not generally smeared across the face as if someone applied Fake Tearz to try to convince the viewer that the actress was actually crying.
If only that were the least of Ms. F's sins. Setting aside the thoroughly disgusting notion of a nurse attempting to seduce a helpless, wheelchair-bound stroke victim, could there have been a worst choice of characterizations in her pouty, fuzzleheaded little girl who still somehow managed to have her way with two seemingly brain-equipped men? The whole concept of Carol's character was an insult to this viewer; I never took her seriously, and for the life of me, couldn't figure out why Wayne or Henry would, either. Thelma and Louise, she ain't.
Even when I dislike a flick, I generally try to give it the benefit of the doubt, looking for at least one redeeming factor in them, some small thing that I can at least grudgingly say I liked.
Nothing comes to mind here.
The "Black Factor" [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith]: >From what I can tell as a movie critic, the stock and trade of a good character actor comes when the casting director, confronted with filling a role calling for a specific characterization, has a Eureka Moment and thinks immediately of that person.
This in mind, character actor Frankie Faison will not likely wont for a job, as long as mainstream casting directors keep him in mind ("we need a Frankie Faison type!") when they have a Smiling Older Black Security Guard/Cop/Hall Monitor/Teacher With Little To Do, role to fill. Think back on his past few performances: has he played anything else lately?
On the other hand, at least he's one Black actor who has a "sure", relatively unembarrassing, part available to him if he wants it.
Bammer's Bottom Line: A dud from start to finish. It's a long way from BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID and THE STING to this horribly edited dreck. My heart goes out to Mr. Newman; no legend should have to "end" his career on such a sour note. Hurry up and film another movie soon, Butch, so we won't have this to remember ya by!
WHERE THE MONEY IS (rating: redlight): I can imagine the folks behind this one are asking just that: "where the money is?". They'd best take it and run. Quickly.
3 Black Chicks...Movie Reviews With Flava! /~\ Rose "Bams" Cooper /','\ 3BlackChicks Enterprises /','`'\ Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 /',',','/`, EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com ICQ: 7760005 `~-._'c / http://www.3blackchicks.com/ `\ ( http://www.evenbetter.com/?partner=1987 /====\
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