Reviewed by Lars Lindahl (larsattacks@mail.com)
"The Perfect Storm" (2000)
Directed by Wolfgang Petersen Written by William D. Wittliff
Starring George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, John C. Reilly, Diane Lane, John Hawkes, Allen Payne, William Fichtner, Karen Allen, Bob Gunton, Janet Wright, Rusty Schwimmer, Dash Mihok, Michael Ironside, and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
Grade: C-
Wolfgang Petersen's latest, The Perfect Storm, is like a pineapple. It only tastes good after arduous peeling and digging - if you try to eat the fruit, spikes and all, it's going to hurt…quite a bit. OK, maybe that was a confusing analogy, so here's my main complaint about the latest man battles nature flick: there isn't really much of a story to tell. Basically, a Massachusetts fishing crew goes out to sea on a small boat, called the Andrea Gail, and gets stuck in the middle of "the storm of the century." How much time does it take for Petersen to tell this story? Not nearly enough. So he spends the majority of the film developing pointless side stories which all eventually become superfluous. Audiences want to see the storm, they want to see a fight for survival but what they get is a lot of cliched, maudlin drivel. The last quarter of The Perfect Storm is utterly perfect in every aspect, but just try lasting the first three-quarters.
I have yet to read Sebastian Junger's The Perfect Storm, but from what I have heard it is an unforgettable tale. Based on a true story, the book must have found some other way to introduce the characters because in the movie version, the approach is weak. Using a wonderfully patriotic score by James Horner, Petersen almost hides the in-your-face banality. Right away the central characters are introduced: the gritty, determined captain (George Clooney), the ingenue (Mark Wahlberg) torn between his job and his girlfriend (Diane Lane), the loving father (John C. Reilly), the comic relief who's always trying to get laid (John Hawkes), the new guy (William Fichtner) who immediately antagonizes a crewmate and the quiet, French guy (Allen Payne). So many problems strike the opening segment of the film that the remaining portions directly suffer. It is not the all-star cast's fault, just the characters designed for their portrayal. Allen Payne's character never speaks in the entire movie, not because he is mute, but because he's never given any lines! Are we supposed to root for a guy whose face and voice we are never given a chance to interact with? Fichtner's character is terribly underdeveloped - we don't know what he's doing there, where he's from, or who he's supposed to be. The remaining four fishermen are all cardboard stereotypes (Hawkes says to a female stranger in one scene "You know what would look good on you? Me!" Ooooh real creative).
As the script advances and the Andrea Gail floats farther out into the waters, the crew continues to not feel human. Only when the storm takes center stage does the movie jump out of its sleepwalk. The computer-generated images of gigantic waves crashing against a helpless boat are thunderously real. I can only imagine if this was an IMAX film, this city kid would surely never go in the water again. This is loud, jolting entertainment - adjectives that completely negate the rest of the film.
The Perfect Storm was unfortunately a disappointment. The maelstrom lived up to its potential but everything else failed to do so. I guess I'll stick to that other Survival spectacle…you know the one on CBS?
Grade: C-
Lars Attacks! A teenager attacks past and present cinema http://www.geocities.com/larsattacks00/
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