The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2000) 1 star out of 4. Starring Rocket J. Squirrel, Bullwinkle the Moose, Renee Russo, Jason Alexander, Robert De Niro, Piper Perabo and Randy Quaid. Special guest appearances by Jonathan Winters, Carl Reiner, Whoopi Goldberg and Janeane Garofalo. Written by Kenneth Lonergan. Music by Mark Motherrsbaugh. Directed by Des McAnuff.
I wish I could report that "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" was a funny as the TV show. Heck, I wish I could report that it was as funny as "Me, Myself & Irene."
Unfortunately, "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" plays like it was produced by people who don't have a clue about the TV show. It's as if they watched a couple of episodes and failed to get the joke.
Even as a kid, I grasped that "Rocky and His Friends," as the show was first called, was not your typical children's cartoon show. It was hip. You could tell that by the puns, the pop culture references and the sometimes subversive satire that the show was aimed at a more sophisticated audience.
Not so this movie.
Where does "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" go wrong? Oh, where to begin.
While Bullwinkle traverses the proceedings in his usual endearing thick-headed oblivion, Rocky is given a severe case of hero angst.
Because he has been out of commission for 35 years, Rocky doubts his ability to once again take to the air. Our champion has developed a fear about flying.
Rubbish. Rocket J. Squirrel was - and is - the eternal optimist, never hesitating the right a wrong or battle villainy.
The film's other drawbacks lie in its plot as well as with Rocky and Bullwinkle's new, live-action sidekick.
The storyline has those dastardly villains from Pottsylvania, Boris, Natasha and Fearless Leader, jumping from their animated selves to the live action world.
Fearless Leader concocts a plan to take over the United States by creating a TV network, RBTV (Real Bad TV), which will show programs so awful they will zombify viewers so that F.L. can control their minds and hypnotize them into electing him president.
The idea would have been a fine one for the 1960s or '70s, but obviously Fearless Leader did not channel surf or he would have seen Jerry Springer, WWF wresting or the Home Shopping Network.
Meanwhile, eager, young, childlike FBI agent Karen Sympathy (Piper Perabo) recruits Rocky and Bullwinkle from a depressed Frostbite Falls, and transports them to the real world to thwart Fearless Leader's plot.
Here is where Kenneth Lonergan's script makes a wrong turn, for instead of concentrating on Moose, Squirrel, Boris and Natasha, "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" becomes a road movie, with hour dynamic duo - plus Sympathy - driving cross-country from Los Angeles to New York for the final confrontation.
Along the way, Boris and Natasha, trying to `kill Moose and Squirrel,' but their efforts in the real world are as inept as in cartoon land.
You know a movie is in trouble when its funniest moments are the over-the-top, overwrought narration. Even the punlike word play between Rocky and Bullwinkle lacks some of the luster of the TV series.
Some of Bullwinkle's puns hit their target, but they are so few and far between, you can snooze while awaiting them.
Jason Alexander and Renee Russo are adequate as the live-action Boris and Natasha, mostly keeping in the character of their cartoon counterparts. Unfortunately, they are given very little to do. And the sight of the two sitting in a Jacuzzi, sipping champagne is totally out of character.
The novelty of Robert De Niro's performance as Fearless Leader quickly wears thin. De Niro has one wonderful scene in which he spoofs the most famous movie line he ever uttered. But, again, it is too little.
Perabo, as Karen Sympathy, is just terrible. She acts as if she's in a high school drama club. Every time she's on the screen, you want to slink down in your seat until she exits.
"The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" will have trouble finding an audience. It is not funny or cartoonish enough for the younger set, while it is too slow and weak for an older crowd. And the baby boomers for whom it is aimed, will probably feel disappointment at the manner in which their childhood idols are handled.
"The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" is a major misfire. The only ones who should be happy are Boris and Natasha. Universal Pictures finally succeeded where they always failed - they destroyed Moose and Squirrel.
Bob Bloom is the film critic at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, IN. He can be reached by e-mail at bloom@journal-courier.com or at bobbloom@iquest.net Bloom's reviews can be found on the Internet Movie Database at: http://www.imdb.com/M/reviews_by?Bob+Bloom
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