Stuart Little 1/2
Rated on a 4-star scale Screening venue: Odeon (Liverpool City Centre) Released in the UK by Columbia TriStar on July 21, 2000; certificate U; 92 minutes; country of origin USA; aspect ratio 1.85:1
Directed by Rob Minkoff; produced by Douglas Wick. Written by Greg Brooker, M. Night Shyamalan. Photographed by Guillermo Navarro; edited by Tom Finan.
CAST..... Voice of Michael J. Fox..... Stuart Little Geena Davis..... Mrs. Little Hugh Laurie..... Mr. Laurie George Little..... Jonathan Lipnicki Voice of Nathan Lane..... Snowbell Voice of Chazz Palminteri..... Smokey Voice of Steve Zahn..... Monty Voice of Jim Doughan..... Lucky
Ever get the feeling that the whole world's gone mad, or is failing to recognise obvious weirdness? I did, during a pitch-black screening of the horrible new film "Stuart Little", where I was surrounded by kids sighing "Aaah... so cute!" at the screen, despite the fact that it was displaying a warped mockery of family entertainment. "Stuart Little" is about a family that adopt a talking mouse. Dad (Hugh Laurie) and mom (Geena Davis) go to an orphanage, look at all the kids playing, say to each other "How can we possibly choose? They're all so wonderful!", and then decide to go for the mutated little creature on the floor.
Stuart is voiced by Michael J. Fox, one of the most loveable of actors, but the only emotion I felt for the character was disgust. A few weeks ago I complained that the poultry in "Chicken Run" displayed implausibly human traits; that was nothing compared to "Stuart Little", in which everyone pretends that this grotesque rodent IS human. "Play with your new brother!" Laurie and Davis tell their biological son (Jonathan Lipnicki). At one point there is a family get-together, and nobody points out how odd the situation is. They all just say "You look wonderful together!" I held out hope for the voice of reason when Lipnicki shouted "Are you people all crazy? That's not my brother! That's a mouse!" But soon the boy is doting on Stuart just like everyone else, and they're best pals. Aaah.
Understand that this is not a comedy, a put-on, or a fantasy. It presents its situation as normal and plausible. It wants to be poignant. There is sentimental piano music playing throughout. Nobody ever seems surprised that they're seeing a talking mouse, or that it's being raised by humans. And even though the Little family are a bunch of freaks with glazed eyes, sickening grins and dopey voices, with archaic clothes that look like "Father Knows Best" hand-me-downs, the actors play them just seriously enough to dispel any hope that the movie could be intended as goofiness or satire.
It's an unbelievably sick and appalling picture. Even if we accepted the premise, which we'd have to be crazy to do, it would be hard to stomach the content, which does not involve a story arc or dramatic conflict, but basically consists of everyone marvelling at Stuart whenever he does little mousy tricks, and telling him how great he is. Before writing my reviews I usually sit and scribble down my thoughts in shorthand. Almost all of my notes for "Stuart Little" end with exclamation marks. It is a stroke of remarkable good fortune that they aren't stained with dribbles of vomit. Apparently, the book the film is based on had the Davis character GIVING BIRTH to a mouse. Thank God we were at least spared that.
The premise could have made amusing kiddie fare if it had been a deliberately bizarre screwball farce, with human characters pushed into the background and the focus on the interaction of the animals. To see what I mean, look at the amusing scenes featuring Nathan Lane as the family cat. When Stuart asks him "Shall I rub your tummy?", he replies "How would you like to rub it from the inside, mouse boy?" The conversation progresses, and Lane sighs to himself "I can't believe I'm arguing with lunch!"
I smile when I recall that moment, but my face turns sour upon remembering anything else about this disaster. How interesting that this week there are only two movies opening ("Stuart Little" and "High Fidelity"), one of them among the best films I've seen, and one among the worst.
COPYRIGHT(c) 2000 Ian Waldron-Mantgani http://members.aol.com/ukcritic
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