THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE
Review by John Beachem
* * 1/2
Directed by: Des Mcanuff Written by: Ken Lonergan, Jay Ward (characters)
All right, I'm going to keep this plot summary pretty short because frankly there wasn't much of a plot to summarize. I guess that was the one part of the movie that was true to the television show. It's the new millenium, and Rocky and Bullwinkle are still trapped in reruns after 35 years, lamenting the loss of their forest. Meanwhile, Fearless Leader (Robert De Niro), Boris (Jason Alexander), and Natasha (Rene Russo) have escaped into the real world by signing a contract for a film deal. The film deal doesn't work because the producer doesn't like movies about moose. That hardly matters however, because Fearless Leader has hatched a plan to take over the United States by turning everyone into mindless vegetables through hypnotic television shows (not that anyone should notice the difference, someone points out). FBI Agent, Karen Sympathy (Piper Perabo), is assigned to stop the notorious trio by bringing Rocky and Bullwinkle out of reruns and into the real world. Things don't go quite as planned however, because Rocky can't seem to fly anymore, and Bullwinkle seems to have grown even dumber (assuming that's possible). Nevertheless, the three start a cross country journey to get to New York in time to stop Fearless Leader from convincing the entire United States to elect him president.
Well, Boris and Natasha may not have been able to stop Moose and Squirrel back in the '60s, but Des Mcanuff (who produced the wonderful "The Iron Giant") and Ken Lonergan (who wrote the hilarious "Analyze This") managed to stop them with this piece of tripe. Moose and Squi- sorry, Rocky and Bullwinkle were really quite amusing back in the old television series. The episodes were full of clever puns, witty comments about society, and amusing slapstick comedy involving Boris, Natasha, or Bullwinkle (okay, so I never found Rocky to be very funny). The movie has hackneyed, stupid puns; obvious and unfunny social commentary (gee, people are like vegetables when watching television - yuck yuck); and slapstick comedy minus the amusement. Does this mean the movie is completely humorless? No, it just means that for every joke that works, ten don't. This also means that for every scene that works (like the courtroom scene, and there is one very funny line involving the explanation of where old cartoons go and gain followings), ten don't (the car trip to the college, the entire college scene, the ending sequence, and at least seven more), and this gets very tiresome after awhile.
"Rocky and Bullwinkle" does boast an amazing array of talent, led by the great De Niro himself and supported by Jason Alexander (Seinfeld) and Rene Russo ("The Thomas Crown Affair"). The problem is that these three great actors look quite embarrassed to be in this movie, and frankly, who can blame them? In the film's lead role we have Piper Perabo (who will soon be appearing in Jerry Bruckheimer's "Coyote Ugly"). I don't know where this girl came from, but she is one of the cutest things I have ever seen (it's just a shame she can't act). Keith Scott ("George of the Jungle") has taken over duties as Bullwinkle and the always funny narrator, and the change is barely noticeable. We are also granted a host of well known actors in useless cameos. We get Whoopi Goldberg as a judge, Kel Mitchell and Keenan Thompson as college buddies, Randy Quaid as the head of the FBI, John Goodman as a state trooper, and so on (Janeane Garolfalo, Carl Reiner, David Alan Grier, etc.). The list goes on forever, but all these cameos amount to just about nothing because they are all given no screen time. The only two who make any sort of impression are John Goodman (because he always makes an impression) and Janeane Garofalo (because she gets one of those rare semi-amusing scenes). It was actually quite sad to see such a talented cast wasted.
"Rocky and Bullwinkle" is guilty of one other massive travesty. One so unspeakably terrible I'm loathe to mention it. Sherman and Mr. Peabody aren't present anywhere in the movie. I'll give you a minute to let that soak in. I have to wonder how Ken Lonergan found a way to fit in so many celebrity cameos but didn't remember to stick the most beloved characters (in my opinion anyway) from the original television show. Okay, my rant is over, or as Mr. Peabody would say, "Quiet you." "Rocky and Bullwinkle" features a subdued, barely present soundtrack, which was actually a nice change from the recent obnoxiously loud soundtracks I've been hearing. One final note: despite the fact that there is more than a decade's difference between "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle", the former features more seamless interaction between the animated characters and the real ones. The movie runs only 88 minutes, but it felt like it should have ended at 60 or so. I'd recommend it only to people who adore animated/live action movies and give it two and a half out of five stars.
Comments? Send to: johnbeachem@dependentfilms.net
Past reviews can be found at: http://www.all-reviews.com/reviewers/JohnBeachem.htm, http://www.epinions.com/user-elerad?public=yes or http://us.imdb.com/ReviewsBy?John+Beachem
* * * * * - One of the best movies of the year. * * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one. * * * - Okay movie, hits and misses. * * - Pretty bad, see it at your own risk. * - See this one only if you enjoy pain.
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