COYOTE UGLY
Review by John Beachem
* * *
Directed by: David McNally Written by: Gina Wendkos
Violet Sanford (Piper Perabo) has just reached an important decision. She's going to leave her small New Jersey town where she's lived her whole life, and move to New York city so she can become a song writer. Violet's father, Bill (John Goodman), is less than pleased by the idea, but wishes her luck. So Violet heads off, finding that the music industry isn't quite as easy to break into as she expected and winds up searching for a job. She hears about a bar called Coyote Ugly, where the waitresses pull in several hundred dollars a night. After speaking with the owner, Lil (Maria Bello), Violet gets a job working with the flirtatious Cammie (Izabella Miko); the practicing lawyer, Zoe (Tyra Banks); and Rachael (Bridget Moynahan), who hates Violet's guts from the start (for reasons which are never explained). Violet also meets a slightly goofy Australian, named Kevin O'Donnell (Adam Garcia), who she falls for immediately. Violet tries to fit in at the bar, working as a coyote, but at the same time all she wants to do is write her songs. The problem is, in order to get her songs published, she has to sing them herself, and she finds she has the worst case of stage-fright imaginable.
I know that plot summary may have sounded involved, but the film is basically two things: girls dancing on a bar top; and sappy, coming of age melodrama. One of the biggest problems with "Coyote Ugly" is that, like all teen movies of the past ten years, it is so bogged down by cliche after cliche that it saps any enjoyment out of the movie. It's hard to have fun at a movie when you know exactly how everything is going to turn out well in advance. In fact, the lack of any surprises is really the only thing holding "Coyote Ugly" back. It has a decent enough cast, a somewhat interesting premise, a soundtrack I'm sure some audience members will love (though I'm not one of them), and the sort of cheesy romance that teenagers fawn all over. Yet glancing around the audience at my showing, I noticed that most of the teenagers this movie was directed at seemed bored out of their minds. Granted, when the girls were dancing on the bar, the guys in the audience were at full attention; but between these scenes, when the action was away from the bar and the melodramatic elements set in, peoples' eyes seemed to become heavy (I know mine did) Chatter would start up amongst members of the audience until the action returned to the bar. So the breakdown is: girls in bar, movie is somewhat entertaining; girls out of bar, movie is a bore.
Piper Perabo, previously seen in the horrendous "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle", seems to have a bizarre dilemma facing her. In Bullwinkle she was just about the cutest actress I'd ever seen, but she seemed incapable of acting. In "Coyote Ugly" some of her cuteness seems to have vanished, but she managed to gain some acting talent. Maybe someday she'll reach an equilibrium. The supporting actresses, save Maria Bello, are never given enough screen time to make much of an impression. Maria Bello turns in an okay performance, but she was far more entertaining as Rosie in "Payback". Newcomer Adam Garcia, on the other hand, delivers quite a good comic turn as the requisite boyfriend from the big city. He actually seemed to possess quite a good sense of comic timing, and I hope a better future script will allow him to shine. Finally, we have the great John Goodman. Goodman has proven, time and again, that he is one of the best, most underrated comic actors working in Hollywood (see "The Big Lebowski" if you want proof). Whenever he's on screen in "Coyote Ugly" (which happens a lot less often than it should have), the movie shines. Whenever he's gone, you'll find yourself checking your watch, waiting for him to come back (either that or checking it, waiting for the movie to end. I always get those two confused).
As I sat and watched the girls' activities in the bar, several questions continuously ran through my mind. First, and perhaps most important, how do these girls serve anyone when they seem to do nothing but dance on the bar and humiliate the customers? Second, is this actually the kind of place that would be popular? Don't get me wrong, watching the girls dance is nice, but they also do things like spray water in peoples' faces, cut peoples' hair off, knock the occasional customer out, and other humiliating activities. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't want to hang out there. Third, how can they afford to stay open when more alcohol seemed to end up on the bar, on the girls, or on the customers, than was actually paid for. Finally, how could this bar be allowed to stay open when there were constant brawls breaking out, fires being lit in a building filled with alcohol, and far too many people inside for it to be considered safe by public officials (such as the cops and fire marshals who stop by). These types of plot inconsistencies probably won't bother everyone, but they sure grated on my nerves.
Obviously, one of the primary elements to "Coyote Ugly" is going to be the music, since the film purports itself to be about girls dancing. While the music wasn't to my liking, being comprised entirely of popular songs by people like LeAnn Rimes. I prefer my music more like the kind found in "Gladiator", but that wouldn't have been quite appropriate to this film. Still, the audience seemed to be enjoying the soundtrack (though they could have just been enjoying watching the girls dance), and I'm ashamed to admit that I caught my foot tapping at one point near the finale. By the way, what are the odds of "I Will Survive" being a major song in two movies released within a week of each other? Weird, huh? One thing I was most worried about after seeing the previews was the movie's dialogue. Thankfully the dialogue was bad ("So what do you do when you realize all your dreams have come true?" ouch), but usually not painfully so (for painful dialogue, see "The Perfect Storm"). There's an "R" rating hiding behind the "PG-13" stamped on the front of "Coyote Ugly", but Jerry Bruckheimer keeps things carefully restrained, most likely so as not to lose any audience that can't attend an "R" rated film (not that that stopped anyone from going to the stupid "Scary Movie"). "Coyote Ugly" runs 100 minutes, but it shouldn't have been any longer than 90. I'd recommend the film to fans of teen movies and give it a slightly generous three out of five stars.
Comments? Send to: johnbeachem@dependentfilms.net
Past reviews can be found at: http://www.epinions.com/user-elerad?public=yes or http://us.imdb.com/ReviewsBy?John+Beachem
* * * * * - One of the best movies of the year. * * * * - Great flick, try and catch this one. * * * - Okay movie, hits and misses. * * - Pretty bad, see it at your own risk. * - See this one only if you enjoy pain.
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