WOMAN ON TOP (director: Fina Torres; screenwriter: Vera Blasi; cinematographer: Thierry Arbogast; editor: Leslie Jones; cast: Penélope Cruz (Isabella Oliveira), Murilo Benício (Toninho Oliveira), Harold Perrineau Jr. (Monica Jones), Mark Feurerstein (Cliff Lloyd), John De Lancie (Alex, TV station manager), Anne Ramsay (TV director), Ana Gasteyer (Claudia Hunter); Runtime: 83; Fox Searchlight Pictures; 1999)
Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz
A sensuous romantic comedy, about as appealing as your average lightweight TV sitcom. There is no special ingredient on the menu for what is dished out, its the kind of stuff I've seen before and was made nauseous by its silly idea of love and what it thinks is funny. The film plans to exploit the beauty and sweetness of its delicious star Penélope Cruz, who plays a Brazilian chef with a magical touch for bringing out the spices in her preparations, the aromas just sensually waft from her cooking pot, but who can't get by on looks alone in this transparently predictable story.
Penélope was wonderful in Pedro Almodóvar's "All About My Mother," but here she is so visible in such a stale story, where she can only smile and tease the audience by having us see a constant barrage of cleavage shots as she bends when cooking, that she somehow looks ridiculous, as if she got egg all over her face. The best you can say about her, is that she's not to blame for this picture being so off. This exploitation of sex film without even delivering nudity or sex, is in my opinion, worst than a raunchy film that delivers what it says it will.
The story is all about the love, motion sickness, and cooking ability of Isabella (Cruz), who is born in Bahia, Brazil and learns to cook at an early age from her parents' cook. To cure her motion sickness, her parents tried every remedy, until they went to a spiritualist who prayed to the goddess of the sea for her cure. She is able to control it now as long as she doesn't drive a car, ride elevators, follow in dancing, and is the woman on top when making love. In other words, she has to be in control of things.
In her small fishing town she falls in love with a handsome macho Latin waiter, Toninho Oliveira (Murilo Benício) and marries him. They open up a successful restaurant, where she slaves away in the kitchen but he gets all the credit for it, even though he's a loafer. One night she catches him in bed with another girl and decides to leave for San Francisco. We don't see her in flight, so I can't tell how she handled her motion sickness problem -- unless she flew the plane.
She visits her friend's apartment Monica (Harold Perrineau Jr.), who is a cross-dresser, blending right into the San Francisco scene.
To cast away her love for the irresistible Toninho, she calls her spiritualist friend and gets her to cast an irreversible spell, freeing her from ever loving him again. Her luck changes when a local TV producer Cliff (Mark Feurerstein) gets a whiff of her cooking and storms into her cooking class as if were in a spell and presents her with her own live TV cooking show.
You can really write the script from here on by yourself...as the despondent Toninho begins to realize what a good thing he had, but things continue to go bad for him: there is a curse he caused on the fishing in his village, there is no chef to replace his wife, as the restaurant is about to close for good. So he comes to San Francisco, figuring he can charm her again. He brings along with him his guitar playing musicians, the ones he used when courting her, when he serenaded her under her window.
He sees his wife on TV with Monica as her sidekick, the yuppie TV producer chasing after her, and sees that she is no longer charmed by him. When he sneaks on her TV show set and tries to woo her with his musical group and him singing corny love songs to her, the ratings go up and he's hired as a regular on the show. The show gets so big, that the network honchos come onboard, taking it national. But they want to change the ethnic flavor of the show, get rid of Monica because he's a freak, have Isabella cook with Tabasco instead of the Brazilian peppers she uses, and they change her ethnic dresses to low-cut Vanna White type of sexy dresses. Cliff, her would-be boyfriend, acts creepy and sides with the network big-shots, even though he loved everything she did. These TV scenes were not only bad stereotype scenes of TV honchos, they were revolting. It was an insult to one's intelligence.
I'm sure that I'm not spoiling the ending for anyone, when I tell you that Toninho reforms his macho ways and together they cook up a meal that breaks her spell of loving him again. If the film wasn't terrible enough, Monica and Cliff act on their attraction for each other and become lovers. It was so awkwardly done, that it had no sense of truth or humor to it.
This film might as well have been made by the same network guys featured in this film, because it doesn't look or feel like an Almodóvar film, the type of film it aspired to be, but more like a film that was interferred with from above. Its more like a futile commercial film that is more annoying than charming and more dull than chic, as it searches for box office heaven.
REVIEWED ON 10/13/2000 GRADE: D
Dennis Schwartz: "Ozus' World Movie Reviews"
http://www.sover.net/~ozus
ozus@sover.net
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