'3BlackChicks Review...'
LUCKY NUMBERS (2000) Rated R; running time 108 minutes Genre: Comedy Seen at: Celebration Cinema (Lansing, Michigan) IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/Details?0219952 Official site: http://www.luckynumbersmovie.com/ Written by: Adam Resnick Directed by: Nora Ephron Cast: John Travolta, Lisa Kudrow, Tim Roth, Michael Rapaport, Michael Moore, Ed O'Neill, Michael Weston, Bill Pullman, Darryl Mitchell
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 Review URL: http://www.3blackchicks.com/bamslucky.html
Somebody do me a favor: find Nora Ephron and take her Director's Guild card away. And don't forget her Screenwriter's union card; she might just sneak past an unsuspecting audience again.
The Story (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**): Russ Richards (John Travolta), a doofus weatherman at WTPA in Harrisburg Pennsylvania, is in trouble. Sure, he has a Jaguar that he parks at his reserved spot at Denny's "restaurant", and sure, he has a snowmobile dealership; but when Harrisburg goes through - what, days? - of the warmest winter on the books and his dealership slowly goes under, Russ finds himself in need of a quick influx of income. WTPA station manager Dick Simmons (Ed O'Neill) won't front Russ the money, so Russ goes to his friend Gig (Tim Roth) to ask for help.
Gig's first idea, involving a "business associate" by the name of Dale The Thug (Michael Rapaport), was foiled by Russ' unwitting snowmobile salesman Larry (Michael Weston); so they come up with Plan B: with the help of Russ' Lotto Girl girlfriend Crystal Latroy (Lisa Kudrow) and her wheezing cousin Walter (Michael Moore), they plan to somehow rig the state lottery so they can win it. And - you knew this was coming, dincha? - Wackiness Ensues.
[Man, I'm surprised I made it through that description before my fingers fell asleep.]
The Upshot: John Travolta couldn't leave well enough alone when he stunk up the joint with his ego-driven BATTLEFIELD EARTH wreck, I see. That wasn't punishment enough for his dwindling audience; he had to follow it up with this sad excuse for a comedy. One thing, though: he forgot to make it funny. I haven't groaned so much at a flick since the reel for SUPERNOVA started up.
There's so much Stink to go around here, it's hard to know where to start. The acting - what little there was of it - was painfully executed; the writing was done in pale crayon, with no hint of feasible plot development whatsoever; and director Ephron just needs her butt whupped and her access to the camera taken away permanently. This was the most over-written, under-funny, blindly directed, so-called "comedy" I think I've ever seen. It wasn't Dark. It wasn't Broad. It was just D-U-L-L.
It'll be hard for me to choose between this one and Stupornova when the time comes for Worst Of 2000. No, let me not tell that lie; SUPERNOVA still wins by a nose. But LUCKY NUMBERS came close enough to make me skulk, growling, from the theater. Besides the overall stench, the two movies had something else in common: a lack of opening credits. And who could blame them? I know I wouldn't want to take "credit" for either one!
The only good thing to come out of LUCKY NUMBERS was Michael Rapaport, one of the most underrated White Dudes in the business. Too bad Dale didn't take a swing at Ephron with that bat of his. Mr. Rapaport, you certainly deserve better. And Mr. Travolta, after threatening us with "Battlefield Earth 2: The Ego Returns", you deserve *exactly* what's coming to you.
The "Black Factor" [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith]: When Darryl Mitchell appeared on-screen as lazy cop Pat Lakewood's partner, Officer Chambers [as if we needed to see yet more good actors wasted on this drivel!], I was sure that there'd be lots of Wacky Black Stuff to come; gotta admit, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Mitchell was the straight man to poor Bill Pullman's Idiot. Thank god for small favors.
Bammer's Bottom Line: Between John Travolta's wack acting and his wackier haircut, he looks and acts like a morph of Jerry Lewis and Moe Howard. He really needs to stop it. Now. And somebody should stop director Nora Ephron before she Kills again.
LUCKY NUMBERS (rating: redlight): Unlucky me, I wasted 108 minutes of my life watching this mess.
Rose "Bams" Cooper /~\ Webchick and Editor, /','\ 3BlackChicks Review /','`'\ Movie Reviews With Flava! /',',','/`, Copyright Rose Cooper, 2000 `~-._'c / EMAIL: bams@3blackchicks.com `\ ( http://www.3blackchicks.com/ /====\
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