CHARLIE'S ANGELS A film review by David N. Butterworth Copyright 2000 David N. Butterworth
**1/2 (out of ****)
It's a fact: teenage girls are just as obsessed with female breasts as teenage boys, and Drew Barrymore has a huge following of teenage girls. It makes perfect sense, therefore, that as the co-producer and shrewd marketing force behind "Charlie's Angels," Barrymore would insist that the film feature, first and foremost, her breasts. Better yet, Barrymore has employed the talents of Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu and since her co-stars have breasts too, the pulchritude on parade here is disturbingly unreal.
Now this a PG-13 rated film so we're not talking full-frontal nudity or, to be fair, even casual toplessness. But "Charlie's Angels," a post-feminist update of the cheesy '70's TV show about three crime-fighting babes employed by a speakerphone, is one sexual tease-a-thon from start to finish. Hardly a minute goes by in which one of our heroines doesn't flash some thigh, unbutton her shirt, or waggle her bum at the camera. The T&A in this film is truly amazing, as if Russ Meyer served as creative consultant. I lost count of how many times an Angel shakes out her hair in slow-mo like a Keeshond wicking rainwater from its pelt.
The sexual innuendo and double entendres don't come as thick and fast as in, say, a James Bond movie, but they're there all right. "You should be on my staff" an appreciative Tim Curry tells Liu's character, who's working undercover as a masseuse. "My hands are going nowhere near your staff" is Liu's sly response.
Do Barrymore's adoring fans appear to mind all this? Mind it? They love it.
There's a scene in the film in which Barrymore hangs from a window wrapped in nothing but a bed sheet. The squeals of delight when the sheet rips and Barrymore--or more likely her stunt double--plunges (safely, of course) to the ground below confirm what the largely 13-year-old audience had come to see. Likewise the scene in which the Angels emerge from the surf in their skin-tight scuba gear. Now Diaz already has her suit unbuttoned to the naval when she sashays up on the beach but she unbuttons it some more. And when all three actresses peel out of their wetsuits tastefully (?) shot from behind, well... the Q102-loving crowd went wild.
If you can take your eyes off the naughty bits for a moment you'll notice that "Charlie's Angels" is actually better than this summer's overhyped "Mission: Impossible 2" because it doesn't take itself too seriously. Like that Tom Cruise vehicle its plot is rather silly, although "Charlie's Angels" only features the one rubber mask removal. "Charlie's Angels" is fast moving, slickly edited, and features a pulse-pounding score. It never flags for a minute. Many of the action sequences are sensational--Barrymore, Diaz, and Liu have clearly trained with the best. One of the best fight sequences comes early in the film in which the Angels face off with a thin henchman, played by Crispin Glover (oddly absent from the screen since 1996's "The People vs. Larry Flynt"). It's kinetic, balletic, a sort of "Bodacious Ta-Ta's" meets "The Matrix" by way of John Woo! Diaz leaps through the air, appears to hang there for several digitally-enhanced seconds as she bicycles her long, sinuous legs into position and delivers a stunning blow to the bad guy's chest--KERBLAM!! Talk about being touched by an Angel.
The film is competently directed by a first timer with the mysterious moniker of McG. It will come as no surprise to anyone that Mr. McG's claim to fame is as a former rock video director; watch for an association with producer Jerry Bruckheimer Real Soon Now.
Barrymore plays Dylan--she has killer red hair. Diaz plays Natalie--she's effervescent, loves to dance, and has a killer smile. Liu plays Alex, she of the killer freckles. All three are stunning in that way that destroys our young girls' self-image. Bill Murray plays the comic interest, Bosley, and he's funny yet woefully underutilized. The villain, a voice-recognition software mogul called Knox, is played by Sam Rockwell but he's just not very villainous. More menacing is his henchwoman, played by Kelly Lynch. Bonus breasts! Killer. There are more costume changes in "Charlie's Angels" than in an entire season of "Are You Being Served?"
From its well-crafted Bond-ian opening sequence, "Charlie's Angels" is, for the most part, a fast and fun-filled 90-minute entertainment. And if you think "Baywatch" provides good role models for your teenage daughter(s), then you shouldn't have the slightest problem with it.
-- David N. Butterworth dnb@dca.net
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