Red Planet (2000)

reviewed by
Scott Renshaw


RED PLANET (Warner Bros.) Starring: Val Kilmer, Carrie-Anne Moss, Tom Sizemore, Benjamin Bratt, Simon Baker, Terence Stamp. Screenplay: Chuck Pfarrer and Jonathan Lemkin. Producers: Mark Canton, Bruce Berman and Jorge Saralegui. Director: Antony Hoffman. MPAA Rating: PG-13 (violence, adult themes, brief nudity, profanity) Running Time: 106 minutes. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.

Some genre films tease you with the prospect that they can be something more substantial before degenerating into stupidity and cliche. RED PLANET at least does viewers the courtesy of not wasting their time with such futile hopes. In the opening minutes, Mars Mission Commander Bowman (Carrie-Anne Moss) provides a voice-over neatly summarizing the premise before launching into capsule characterizations of her crewmates. That co-pilot Santen (Benjamin Bratt), he sure is a hot-head, which undoubtedly will play a significant role in his ultimate fate. And that scientist Burchenal (Tom Sizemore), he sure has an ego, which undoubtedly will create some sort of character tension down the road.

Dim-wittedness in Hollywood action films is only to be expected at this point in cinema history. Vaguely pretentious dim-wittedness is pretty inexcusable. RED PLANET sends a six-person crew to Mars in 2057 to find out what has happened to oxygen-producing algae sent by earth scientists as part of a colonization plan. You see, earth has become nearly uninhabitable due to environmental degradation, and our only hope of survival is creating a survivable atmosphere elsewhere, but something has gone screwy because oxygen readings have suddenly dropped. The mission team is ready to investigate when a freak radiation burst damages their vessel, forcing an emergency evacuation of all personnel but Bowman. The landing vehicle is damaged on impact, leaving the surviving crew members -- including dashing chief engineer Gallagher (Val Kilmer) -- to figure out a way to get back home.

At certain points in RED PLANET, you can't help but wonder why anyone wasted time on a back story at all. Though the very survival of the human race is theoretically at stake, the film seems interested in that point only to the extent that it can be included in press notes, in absurd declarations like, "It's a smart movie that posits the question, what if man fails to do the things necessary to live on earth?" In fact, RED PLANET resolutely refuses to deal with anything beyond the basic goals of its characters to find a way back to earth. Why does no one in the stranded party refer to being thirsty or hungry after going without food and water for more than a day? How would the people on earth be responding to the apparent failure of this crucial mission? What exactly was the reason that no one could detect any oxygen, when it turns out there's a whole lot of it around? And why flirt with the notion that there's some intelligence bent on thwarting the terraforming effort, only to make the real villain of the piece the crew's resident malfunctioning evil robot?

Silly questions, of course, since RED PLANET is kind enough to alert you so quickly to its minimalist intentions. The characters spout dialogue that alternates between inane exposition and pointless self-characterization. "I'm a scientist, but I'm really interested in philosophy," says philosophically-interested scientist Chantilas (Terence Stamp), though not in so many words. "We're sexually attracted to one another, so I hope neither one of us dies," say Bowman and Gallagher, though not in so many words. "I sure wish it didn't take 40 minutes for you to answer," says Bowman after sending a radio message to earth, actually in so many words, just to let us know the writers knew at least one science fact. It's a wonderful irony in RED PLANET that it places so much weight on the fate of these six characters, only to make them utterly weightless as actual characters.

At odd intervals, something happens to slap the film out of its oxygen-deprived stupor. Most of them involve Moss, whose strong presence occasionally tricks you into thinking the film is better than it is. One involves a great shot of the Mars lander taking a tumble for which it certainly wasn't designed. And, sadly, many others involve the pleasure of watching one or another of the annoying characters meet an untimely demise. As directed by rookie feature director Antony Hoffman, this is a lame special effects-driven action film that can't even be bothered to provide a handful of visceral thrills. Lacking big-time action excitement, competent story-telling or any desire to prevent you from walking out scratching deep trenches into your head, RED PLANET is simply a planet-sized waste of time. But at least it only wastes a few minutes of your time before making that obvious.

     On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 dead planets:  3. 

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