Bruiser (2000)

reviewed by
Jon Popick


PLANET SICK-BOY: http://www.sick-boy.com "We Put the SIN in Cinema" ©Copyright 2001 Planet Sick-Boy. All Rights Reserved.

George A. Romero, the writer/director credited with ushering in the modern horror film era with 1968's Night of the Living Dead, brings his latest film to Rochester this Saturday as part of the Dryden Theater's continuous `Visiting Filmmaker' series. Bruiser, full of Romero's trademark humor and lower-than-low budget for acting talent, is an interesting but gimmicky parable that is more remarkable for its similarity to two recent films than anything else.

Jason Flemyng (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) plays Henry Creedlow, an employee of a men's magazine called `Bruiser.' Despite having a somewhat successful career, a hot wife and a giant, newly constructed home, Henry is Joe Vanilla – one of those guys you never notice because he doesn't have a smidgen of character (kind of like the straight white guys on the last few seasons of The Real World). He's practically invisible and lacks the backbone to stand up to anybody who gets in his face or questions his opinions.

And, like anyone who lets people wipe their feet on his back, Henry's life is full of people who take advantage of him. His wife, Janine, (Nina Garbiras, The $treet) is unfaithful and keeps her thumb on Henry's money. His best friend Jimmy (Andrew Tarbet) is a financial advisor who is robbing Henry blind. Even his housekeeper gets in on the action, pilfering money from Henry's wallet when she thinks he isn't looking. And, worst of all, his bigoted, ass-grabbing, cock-waggling boss (Peter Stormare, Chocolat) belittles Henry in front of his colleagues and seems a little too familiar with Janine.

We can tell Henry is close to some kind of breaking point from his homicidal/suicidal fantasies (the highlight of the film) that begin with his repetitive morning bathroom and workout ritual (like American Psycho). Waking up to discover his face has become white and featureless is the last straw, and you know what that means, don't you? No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Henry spends the rest of the film righting all of the wrongs that he feels have, literally, stolen his identity. Like Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man, Henry dons a hat, sunglasses and flesh-colored makeup to walk the streets unnoticed, leading to the big masquerade party finale, which is as anticlimactic as most of the film's revenge killings. As an added bonus, The Misfits play three songs, including one called `Bruiser,' written for this film, at the over-the-top party climax.

Speaking of over-the-top, that's just what Stormare is in his role. His accent seems to change from Russian to Irish from line to line, no doubt distracted by the stress of chewing up the scenery every time the camera focuses on him. When he gets his at the end, it's a huge letdown, considering how despicable the character was. Other disappointments include the failure to use a dangerous table saw as an implement of destruction, and the fact that Janine's annoying poodle doesn't meet the grisly fate it deserves.

Other than Stormare and Garbiras, who gets naked a bunch of times, the rest of the actors are as bland as Henry's character is supposed to be. But Romero fans will likely be hooting and hollering from the opening scene, right through the odd cover of A-Ha's `Take on Me' that plays during the closing credits.

1:35 – R for nudity, sexual content, violence, and adult language


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