3000 Miles to Graceland A movie review by Joe Barlow Copyright 2001
STARRING: Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, David Arquette,
Ice T, Courtney Cox
DIRECTOR: Demian Lichtenstein
WRITERS: Richard Recco and Demian Lichtenstein
RATED: R
Elvis is dead, and it would be damned kind of us to leave him that way--especially when the vehicle for his return to the public eye is an uninspired façade of a narrative like this. Demian Lichtenstein's 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND is the latest cinematic offering to rape our collective past, cheerfully exploiting American nostalgia and pillaging the icons of an earlier, less jaded generation. There's nothing wrong with satirizing our heritage when it's done well--just take a look at the brilliant PLEASANTVILLE, for instance--but this film feels less like homage than a cheap attempt to whore our cultural icons for a quick buck. May that be all this film earns at the box office.
The story centers around a group of hard-nosed thieves who rob a casino while dressed as Elvis impersonators. All the film's main characters are lifted wholesale from the Hollywood Book of Requisite Action-Movie Stereotypes, including the gang's two ringleaders (Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner), whose inability to agree on the best way to divvy up the loot results in one stale argument scene after another; a shallow single mother (played with no stretch whatsoever by Courtney Cox, whose performance here equals the dramatic range she displayed in Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" music video); and an army of ever-expendable secondary characters, who exist here only to bring some name recognition to the project. (Ice T? In an Elvis movie? Well, thank yuh. Thank yuh very much.)
The film's trailer would have you believe that the majority of the tale revolves around the planning and execution of the robbery, but don't be fooled--the meat of the story centers more on the aftermath of the heist than the crime itself, which is over and done with in the opening five minutes. Unfortunately, the first warning signs of the movie's dearth of quality are apparent before this bullet ballet is over. Lichtenstein, attempting to disguise the film's disastrously uneven editing, takes every opportunity to flaunt his music video roots at us--the two gunfights which bookend the movie are constructed with quick jump cuts and needlessly "flashy" camera shots that would be far more at home on MTV than in a film aspiring to tell a coherent story. The poor filmmaker, helming his second feature film with 3000 MILES, doesn't yet seem to have a grasp on good narrative storytelling technique, choosing instead to obfuscate the plot behind stylistic editing and underwhelming camera moves that add nothing but length to the final film.
But as tedious as the opening bloodbath is, things only get worse after our merry band of nitwits hits the highway. As you might expect, 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND is, in fact, a road movie about a trip to... Canada? Yes, you read that correctly. Canada. But despite the fact that Graceland plays no part in the film itself, its spirit does sort of hover over the movie--a sad, disheveled icon that once had meaning, but now rots away like so many peanut butter and 'nana sandwiches left out in the rain. (Rather like Presley himself, at the hands of this movie. It's sad that Elvis, arguably the first true Sugar Daddy of rock and roll--and I'm talking *lots* of sugar, sweet'pea--has been forced to "pseudo-star" posthumously in this banal tale of crime, guns, and Elvis impersonators, which serves less as a cohesive narrative than a barometer of pain. This is not the first film to ever feature Elvis impersonators as an integral part of the plot, but it's unquestionably the worst.)
The cast is populated by a group of Hollywood A-list actors, all of whom should have known better. Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner get the king's share (no pun intended) of screen time, and therefore deserve the complete career derailments that are likely to occur after John P. Consumer gets an eyeful of this garbage. This is particularly disappointing--and surprising--since Russell drew critical accolades for his performance of Elvis in John Carpenter's 1979 TV miniseries; as such, it's lamentable that he comes across so ham-fisted this time around--not so much incompetent as begging for attention.
And sadly, Kevin Costner proves that the dramatic rebound I thought I'd glimpsed in the recent THIRTEEN DAYS is nothing more than a passing fluke. In 3000 MILES, Costner's performance as Dances with Whoppers (his character is actually named Murphy, but admit it, you like my idea better) comes across not so much as an effective villain but a reluctant actor; I've heard of phoning in a role before, but Costner here doesn't even seem to have the coins needed to place the call. With starring roles in such recent cinematic disasters as WATERWORLD and THE POSTMAN under his belt, Kevin Costner proves one thing in 3000 MILES: he has the worst agent in the known universe.
So, is there *anything* positive I can say about this film?
RATING: * out of a possible ****
This review is (c)Copyright 2001 by Joe Barlow. It may be freely distributed, as long as nothing is changed and this paragraph remains intact. If you'd like to join Joe's mailing list to receive new reviews free of charge, please send a blank e-mail to: joefilm-subscribe@listbot.com . Joe's first book of film criticism, 100 NIGHTS IN THE DARK, is now available at bookstores everywhere (ISBN: 0-595-16391-2). Please see http://www.joebarlow.com for more information. No portion of this review may be reprinted for profit without authorization from the author.
===== Joe Barlow Author of "100 Nights in the Dark: A Collection of Contemporary Film Reviews and Essays," available at: http://www.joebarlow.com and at bookstores everywhere (ISBN: 0-595-16391-2).
Joe Barlow on Film: http://www.joebarlow.com
The review above was posted to the
rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup (de.rec.film.kritiken for German reviews).
The Internet Movie Database accepts no responsibility for the contents of the
review and has no editorial control. Unless stated otherwise, the copyright
belongs to the author.
Please direct comments/criticisms of the review to relevant newsgroups.
Broken URLs inthe reviews are the responsibility of the author.
The formatting of the review is likely to differ from the original due
to ASCII to HTML conversion.
Related links: index of all rec.arts.movies.reviews reviews