MILK MONEY
A film review by Ben Hoffman
Copyright 1994 Ben Hoffman
Meet the new Worst Movie Of The Year. This one has no redeeming features. That it could be made by Paramount, the same studio that gave us FORREST GUMP, is another surprise.
The film opens with twelve-year-old Frank (Michael Patrick Carter) and two of his friends discussing women and diaphragms. One of the friends suggests they gO to the "big city" where women will undress for money. They then break into their piggy banks, sell all their toys and books and with a sack of coins and bills they get on their bikes, off to the big city.
They accost well-dressed women on the street with the moronic question, "Are you a prostitute?" When they are about to be conned and robbed by some tramp who takes them into an underground parking lot, V., (Melanie Griffith) gets out of a car where she had been plying her trade with an elderly man and conks the tramp over the head with her shoe, knocking him out. Little Frank decides he wants to take her home to marry his widowed dad (Ed Harris).
Last year we had the delightful SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE with a young boy (Ross Malinger) trying to get his dad (Tom Hanks) to marry a sweet woman journalist (Meg Ryan). (3.5 bytes)
Last month the story got more unlikely in CORRINA, CORRINA, when dad (Ray Liotta) is being asked by his daughter (Tina Majorino) to marry Whoopi Goldberg, their housekeeper. (2 bytes). And now, dad is invited to marry a hooker who Frank tells him is his math tutor.
The more the movie goes on, the more inane it becomes. It has at least two unacceptable story goofs but even without that, it is pitiful.
Directed by Richard Benjamin.
One half byte. 4 Bytes = Absolutely must see. 3 Bytes = Too good to be missed. 2 Bytes = So so. 1 Byte = Save your money.
Ben Hoffman
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