WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? A film review by David N. Butterworth Copyright 2001 David N. Butterworth
*1/2 (out of ****)
If you've been following William Fichtner's career (and there's absolutely no reason why you should have), you might have noticed that he's played some rather similar roles over the years. Like Sully in "The Perfect Storm"--tough, gruff, and a little bit scary. Or Law in "Albino Alligator"--tough, gruff, and little bit scarier. Or Colonel William Sharp in "Armageddon," or Dwayne Engelman in "Strange Days," or even his brief appearance towards the beginning of "Pearl Harbor," as the abusive father of Danny--here is an actor who gravitates towards tough, gruff, hard-hitting roles.
Which is why his performance in "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" is such a shock, such a delight.
In the film, Fichtner plays a blonde haired, meticulously dressed, overtly effeminate, dog-loving detective. As Alex Tardio, Fichtner's performance borders on caricature but goes beyond it. It borders on offensive but doesn't really manage it. And it borders on clichéd stereotype but doesn't quite succumb to that definition either.
In a role so diametrically opposed to what the actor has played before we should have seen it coming, Fichtner isn't perfect--you can see him struggling a little at times, concentrating a little too hard on the look as he swishes his hand through the air, or nuzzles a coiffed canine up close and personal--but he's pretty damned good, and silly, and without question the best thing in the film. In fact, had it not been for Fitchner's sudden and bizarre appearance, and his jarring screen presence thereafter, I would have walked out, for "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" is mesmerizing in its awfulness, a poorly written, haphazardly edited, and totally unfunny (yes, it stars Martin Lawrence and Danny Devito so how could that be possible?) moviegoing experience.
Fichtner's performance doesn't exactly save the film, and it's not like I'm recommending "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" solely on the strength of the actor's dramatic turnaround, but his contributions do raise the film's rating from no stars to one-and-a-half.
Thumbs up to Fichtner then, and thumbs down--way, way, down--to everyone else involved in this sorry mess, a movie so dull and pedestrian and nonsensical it doesn't even warrant discussion.
-- David N. Butterworth dnb@dca.net
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