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Saying Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is the best film to ever be adapted from a video game isn't really that much of a compliment. There have been too many Wing Commanders and Double Dragons to make that statement mean anything at all. Here's the skinny: Tomb Raider is a blast and will likely be one of the summer's better action films. Sure, it makes less sense than Swordfish, and when its over-the-top action isn't at full-throttle, the flick is kind of a bore. But does any of that matter when Angelina Jolie gets to wear so many cute outfits?
Jolie (Gone in 60 Seconds) stars as the titular Lady Lara Croft (with the emphasis on "titular"), a wealthy Brit with a knack for busting into tombs Indiana Jones-style. Her mum is dead, and her treasure-hunting father (Pearl Harbor's Jon Voight, Jolie's real-life dad) has been missing for 15 years. Lara is a little like Bruce Wayne, in that she lives in a giant mansion, complete with a doting butler (Chris Barrie), and lives somewhat of a double life. Tomb Raider's first scene establishes Lara as a major-league ass-kicker, complete with a penchant for John Woo-esque double-fisted gunplay as she battles an insect-like robot that turns out to be a training device created by her chum Bryce (Shine's Noah Taylor, who is basically playing an Aussie Seth Green).
Without going too much into the plot for a couple reasons (one, it barely matters; and two, I still don't understand most of it), Tomb Raider revolves around a rare astrological event in which all nine planets of our solar system align and create a total solar eclipse. The blackout, which only happens once every 5,000 years, allows the world access to a magical triangle with an all-seeing eye that gives its possessor the ability to manipulate time. The catch is that several years ago, the triangle was broken into two pieces and hidden at opposite ends of the earth to keep it from falling into the hands of an evil madman. Coincidentally, a group of evil madmen called the Illuminati (led by a guy named Richard Johnson...no joke) is after the triangle pieces to, presumably, do some really bad stuff. Manfred Powell (Iain Glen) is put in charge of finding the triangle and returning it to the Illuminati.
Lara gets dragged into the whole thing when she begins to find clues left behind by her dead dad (one involves - get this - a mysterious clock hidden inside another clock hidden under the stairs). Powell and his band of soldiers bust into Lara's pad and steal the clock, but not until we're treated to a nifty action sequence involving Ms. Croft, a pair of white pajamas (with only the top button done) and a bungee cord, which enables her to fly around like Zhang Ziyi while she's cracking skulls.
She's flying through the air. She's sporting a buff British accent. She's riding motorcycles. She's even taking a shower! Is there anything this girl can't do? Jolie even looks like Lara a few times, and did I mention she gets to wear a bunch of cute outfits, to boot? And as silly and implausible as most of the action was in Tomb Raider, I never once rolled my eyes and said, "Cripes, there's no way she could have done that." Is she an Indiana Jones rip-off? You bet, but Indy never looked this good when he was covered in sweat.
Tomb Raider is full of the things that made Raiders of the Lost Ark a cool ride. There are plenty of booby-trapped tombs (emphasis on "booby"), secret doors and the like. There are a couple of scenes that make Ark's giant boulder look downright laughable at this point. Plus, like Indy, Lara has a really old father who used to be an actor, like, a hundred years ago.
There are negatives, though. The action-packed peaks are wonderful, but the valleys are atrocious. Glen is the least threatening bad guy since Dougray Scott stunk up the joint in M:I-2, and he's practically interchangeable with Daniel Craig (I Dreamed of Africa), who plays another treasure hunter (and I'm still not sure if he was a good guy or a bad guy). Tomb Raider is also packed full of product placement, which will always result in a lower overall rating (except with Wayne's World).
Tomb Raider was directed by The General's Daughter's Simon West and written by a hodgepodge of scribes; most of them are rookies, but two penned the equally far-fetched but totally enjoyable Face/Off.
1:32 - PG-13 for action violence and some sensuality
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