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There's just no middle ground when it comes to Eddie Murphy films. It's either a throw-your-hands-in-the-air blockbuster that spawns an incredible amount of sequels (like Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hours, The Nutty Professor and, eventually Shrek), or a flop that is swept under the carpet so quickly that most people have forgotten it ever existed (like Holy Man, Vampire in Brooklyn and Metro). What is it about Murphy that makes people want to watch him play the same roles over and over again? You don't see it with his comedic contemporaries, like Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey (I'm still pretending Ace Ventura 2 never happened). Murphy could probably pump a sequel to Professor out every two years and still gross well over $100 million at the box office each time.
Dr. Dolittle 2 probably won't be much of an exception, but that certainly doesn't mean it's a good film. In fact, it will probably gross less than the first version did, which brings up another interesting point about Murphy: How come the films in which he doesn't primarily appear as himself make so much less money? Think about it. People love his voice work in animation (Shrek, Mulan) and think it's great when he's hidden behind fat suits and prosthetics (Professor), but when it's just Eddie, it's usually a bomb. Not counting Dolittle, which was really more about the talking animals than Murphy, his last genuine box-office hit that wasn't either animated or a sequel was 13 years ago (Coming to America). Most of Dolittle 2's target audience wasn't even alive back then.
In Dolittle 2, Murphy reprises his role as the titular John Dolittle, a San Francisco doctor who, since the closing credits rolled in the 1998 original, has become a world-famous, globetrotting superstar, much to the displeasure of his neglected family. His practice now treats both humans and animals, and Dolittle spends a lot of free time with various animal support groups, as well. When he does manage to find his way home, the family's quiet moments are routinely interrupted by animals with strange physical ailments looking for the healing hands of the good doctor.
One such interruption comes via a wiseguy raccoon (Michael Rappaport) who swears he's not in the Mafia and insists Dolittle meet his boss, the Beaver (Richard C. Sarafian). The Beaver tries to enlist Dolittle to stop the deforestation of a large wooded area outside San Francisco proper. Dolittle's attorney wife (Kristen Wilson) advises him the only way to stop the loggers (led by 3000 Miles to Graceland's Kevin Pollack and Sleepy Hollow's Jeffrey Jones) from going chop-crazy is to find an endangered species in the forest and attempt to create offspring of said species. There is one rare female Pacific Northwest bear (Lisa Kudrow, Lucky Numbers), but the only male in existence has been working in a circus his entire life (Steve Zahn, Saving Silverman). Will Dolittle postpone his family's much-needed vacation to attempt mating a circus bear with a forest bear? Do they shit in the woods? (The bears, not the Dolittles.)
Dolittle and family move to the forest, where the doctor tries to train Archie the circus bear to survive in the wild (they call it a "bear-a-thon"), and the bear even helps him learn a little bit about himself, too. And the whole time, all I could think of was the Robert Schimmel joke (Q. How do they teach bears to ride bikes? A. They nail their feet to the pedals and beat the shit out them.) that was funnier than anything in the movie. The animals piss, shit and fart up a storm, and there's enough gags about ball-licking and various sexual acts to make you wonder how this earned a PG rating. But what else would you expect from a film that is narrated by a talking dog (Norm Macdonald) and stars a drunken, sweater-wearing monkey?
The original Dolittle (not the Rex Harrison one) was directed by Betty Thomas, who was hot off the success of Private Parts and Late Shift. This time, the reins are handed to Steve Carr, whose only feature film credit was the nearly unwatchable Next Friday. Carr has worked on numerous music videos for the likes of Method Man, Jay-Z and Redman - not exactly a sound pick for a children's film, but stranger things have happened (remember Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett?). I'm not sure Dolittle is bad enough to have original author Hugh Lofting spinning in his grave, but it ain't no Babe, either.
1:28 - PG language and crude humor
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