Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Reviewed by Christian Pyle Directed by Simon West Written by Patrick Massett and John Zinman (based on the video game) Starring Angelina Jolie, Iain Glen, and Jon Voight Grade: F
You'd think that after awhile Hollywood would stop trying to make movies out of video games. It hasn't worked so far. "Street Fighter?" "Super Mario Brothers?" "Wing Commander?" "Mortal Kombat?" Not a watchable film in the bunch. Still I held out some hope for "Tomb Raider." After all, the game's premise is heavily influenced by the Indiana Jones trilogy and all the mummy movies, so there are cinematic elements imbedded in the concept. However, despite the potential of the project, "Tomb Raider" proves to be yet another bomb.
The plot is a convoluted accumulation of nonsense probably borrowed from a dozen bad movies. There's a once-ever-5000-years alignment of planets coming up, and the Illuminati have to find both halves of an ancient triangle that controls time in order to take over the world. Of course, the ancient folks who divided the triangle buried the halves in tombs on opposite sides of the world. Our heroine, Lady Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie), finds the key that opens the tombs in relics that her dead father (Jon Voight) dug up. She figures that if she gets the triangle, she can bring her dad back from the dead.
Of course, no one was expecting much of a plot from this movie anyway. In both video games and action movies, the plot is just an excuse for the action sequences. However, the action in "Tomb Raider" shows little style or originality. There's lots of shooting and some kung fu fightin', but none of it progresses beyond the level of a cheap direct-to-cable flick. The other goofy archeologist flick of the summer, "The Mummy Returns," was much better; it had its flaws, but its action was creative and large-scale.
Since winning her Academy Award for "Girl, Interrupted," Jolie hasn't taken any projects that would display her acting talents. "Tomb Raider" seems to be more interested in displaying her breasts; so much attention is drawn to them that it's a shame there's no Oscar for Best Performance by a Wonderbra.
While we don't see much of her acting ability (with the exception of a wonderful upper-crust British accent), we do get a hint of Jolie's less savory side. Considering the rumors of incest that hang over Jolie and her supposed obsession with death, having Lara be obsessed with resurrecting her dead father (and uninterested in any of the living males around her) seems a poor choice. Having Jolie's real life father Jon Voight play the dead dad makes it even creepier.
I haven't decided what to make of director Simon West yet. His first feature was the star-studded disaster "Con Air," but my opinion of him improved with "The General's Daughter," which was thick with sultry atmosphere. Now this train wreck. I hope he improves again because his next project is the big screen version of the cult TV series "The Prisoner." Hollywood has already screwed up "The Avengers," and "The Prisoner" represents a chance for redemption.
(By the way, speaking of British TV, "Red Dwarf" fans should look for Chris "Rimmer" Barrie in his first major film role).
Bottom Line: Best left in the tomb
© 2001 Christian L. Pyle
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