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We've already seen kids play James Bond this year in Spy Kids - now it's time for the family pet to don high-tech gear and battle the bad guys. And if there's anything more visually pleasing than a talking dog using binoculars, I don't want to know what it is. Cats and Dogs ranks somewhere between Shrek and Atlantis for summer family-film enjoyment. The story barely matters, and it smartly takes a backseat to the picture's surprisingly well-done special effects.
I know, I know - you're all thinking, "We've just seen a cruddy movie about talking animals with Eddie Murphy, and the last decent family film with talking dogs and cats was Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, and that's so old, Michael J. Fox wasn't even shaking yet." Well, you're right, and what's more, Cats is violent and mean-spirited, to boot. But it's a whole lot of fun, and the kids at my screening sure seemed to enjoy the hell out it.
The film opens with an impressive chase scene between a dog and cat that culminates in the dog being "catnapped" by a gang of ferocious felines that work for the fiendishly evil Mr. Tinkles (voiced by Sean Hayes, Will and Grace). What, you may ask yourselves, would a cat who is hell-bent on taking over the world want with a mangy old pooch? It's simple: The dog was really an undercover special agent protecting a scientist (Jeff Goldblum, Holy Man) and his cutting-edge research on a dog allergy formula. If Professor Brody succeeds, dogs will remain at the right hand of their masters. If the cats are able to sabotage the project, they'll take over the human race, just like they did in ancient Egypt. (Don't ask me - I told you the story took a backseat to the effects, remember?)
The undercover dog agents (whose motto is "To Fetch and Protect") try to get one of their own into the Brody household to defend the professor's work, but a rather moronic Beagle puppy named Lou (Tobey Maguire, Wonder Boys) becomes the new family pet instead. Lou has dreamt of exciting adventures but has no formal dog militia training, which means he gets his ass kicked by a pair of Ninja cats before his superior (Alec Baldwin, Pearl Harbor) can show Lou how to take care of himself. Holy shit! Is it a sign of the apocalypse when the dog voiced by Baldwin looks just like Baldwin? That's one creepy dog.
There are a few other decent celebrity voices in Cats, like Susan Sarandon, Michael Clarke Duncan, Joe Pantoliano and Jon Lovitz (wait - is he still a celebrity?). Like Shrek, there's a lot of inside adult humor, too, like when one dog exclaims in frustration, "Son of my mother!" The bit with the Russian cat is priceless, as is the best soccer spoof since The Simpsons went to the Mexico v. Portugal match. It's all kind of surprising, considering the script is from a couple of guys with no feature-film experience (John Requa and Glenn Ficarra), and it's directed by a first-timer, too (Lawrence Guterman)..
1:30 - PG for animal action and humor
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