FREDDY GOT FINGERED A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 2001 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): 0
FREDDY GOT FINGERED, written and directed by its star, Tom Green, has the worst trailers that I've ever seen, and it has been called the worst movie ever made by some critics. "How bad could it be?" I asked myself. Whereas I'm not quite ready to call it the worst movie ever, it is certain to be at the absolute top of my worst of the year list for this year. A movie whose cruelty knows no bounds, it makes the mistake of confusing shock with humor. When you break a guy's leg so horrendously that the bone sticks out, it isn't funny. And having Green lick the blood off the bone only makes it more repulsive rather than making it somehow perversely funny.
I'm one of the few critics who thinks that Tom Green's last major outing, ROAD TRIP, was one of last year's best and most underappreciated comedies. Perhaps Green has suffered some kind of blow to the head since then that has changed his ability to ascertain what is humorous and what isn't. Acting like he is Andy Kaufman's evil twin, Green insults his audience from the very beginning of FREDDIE GOT FINGERED. Stopping his car when he sees a horny horse, he runs over to masturbate it.
In the story, Green plays Gord Brody, an infantile 28-year-old skateboarder who lives in his parents' basement since he is perpetually unemployed. Well, he does get a job at the Hollywood Cheese Sandwich Factory, but it doesn't last. Rip Torn and Julie Hagerty, drawing their agents' short straws, are stuck playing Gord's parents. Torn copes by overacting while Hagerty tries her best to blend into the woodwork, hoping that no one will notice her presence.
With the manic behavior of someone about to overdose on cocaine, Gord seems about to explode in every scene. While at a hospital, Gord delivers a baby from a woman whom he has irritated into an early labor. After yanking her baby out, he swings the baby rapidly around his head by holding on to the umbilical cord. He then proceeds to bite through the cord, spewing blood everywhere. The scene manages to be even more disgusting that this description.
There are a few briefly bearable -- bearable, not funny -- moments in the film, but it is impossible to catch your breath them since you are perpetually on your guard for the story's next atrocity. As bad as the trailers are, they are masterpieces of comedy next to the abomination of the movie itself. Whatever you do, don't flirt with the idea that any movie this bad might be fun to see. This is a film that you don't want to inflict on yourself, no matter how adventuresome a moviegoer you think you are. Trust me. A root canal without anesthetics would be less painful that FREDDIE GOT FINGERED.
FREDDY GOT FINGERED runs 1:33 but feels like three eternities. It is rated R for crude sexual and bizarre humor, and for strong language. Consider it as NC-17. This is not a movie for adults and certainly not for kids.
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