THE FORSAKEN A film review by Steve Rhodes Copyright 2001 Steve Rhodes RATING (0 TO ****): *
Breasts and blood. Writer/director J.S. Cardone's THE FORSAKEN prominently features breasts and blood, although the nonsensical opening sequence displays breasts "in" blood, as an unknown woman rubs blood all over her naked bosom. It's a movie in which one of the vampires is referred to as a "Penthouse pet from hell."
Since people can be low on substances from potassium to iron, perhaps they can also have a sleaze deficiency. If you're suffering from such a malady, THE FORSAKEN might be just the tonic for you. Not going for B-movie parody as SCARY MOVIE wisely did, THE FORSAKEN takes itself quite seriously, which is a big mistake. Watching it isn't so much disgusting as it is just a colossal waste of time.
Sean (Kerr Smith), supposedly the son of the second assistant director of E.T., works as an editor preparing trailers at a studio whose pictures aren't named, but the posters on the wall include movies such as CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH. The latter is undoubtedly better than THE FORSAKEN.
Sean takes time off from his job so that he can earn extra cash by driving someone else's Mercedes convertible across the country to Miami. Soon after he leaves, two women with large boobs pull alongside him on a two-lane road. You guessed it -- one of them flashes Sean for no apparent reason other than the director told her to.
Although given strict instructions to avoid hitchhikers, Sean picks up a self-described slacker named Nick (Brendan Fehr). As soon as the vampires arrive -- you don't have to wait long -- we learn that Nick is a "hunter." Once bitten himself, he's now out to get "them." Trust me, you won't care. The only thing that you'll care about will be found on the dial of your watch.
"Do you make a lot of money in the movie biz?" Nick asks Sean soon after meeting him. "Not yet," Sean replies hopefully. Let's hope that movies that waste our time and money like THE FORSAKEN won't make much at all. Let's not encourage the studios to make such trash.
THE FORSAKEN runs a long 1:30. It is rated R for strong violence/gore, language and sexuality and would be acceptable for older teenagers.
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