AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS ---------------------
Eddie Thomas (John Cusack) and Gwen Harrison (Catherine Zeta-Jones) were America's favorite Hollywood couple, appearing in one blockbuster after another together. But when they teamed up with genius filmmaker Hal Weidmann (Christopher Walken), Gwen began an affair with her Spanish supporting costar Hector (Hank Azaria, "The Birdcage") that drove Eddie into an asylum and Gwen off the box office charts. It's now up to Lee Phillips (Billy Crystal) to get the two together for the press junket of Weidmann's film in "America's Sweethearts."
Lee's not only dealing with warring costars - Weidmann is holding his film hostage and Lee has to keep the press preoccupied so they don't notice they're not seeing the movie. Lee puts the focus on the separated couple, leaking videotape of an apparently masturbating Eddie outside of Gwen's cottage followed by a picture of them canoodling in a car. This brings the jealous Hector out to the desert resort to beat Eddie senseless and provide more publicity. Meanwhile, Gwen's sister/assistant Kiki (Julia Roberts), who's shed sixty pounds since Gwen and Eddie's breakup, has consummated her long time crush on Eddie by falling into bed with him.
Writers Billy Crystal and Peter Tolan ("Analyze This") had a brilliant idea to anchor a screwball comedy, but while they sprinkle the script with several brilliant bits, their story begins to deflate just when it should be reaching its comic climax. They neglect to develop some characters, most notably Eddie, and their big moment, when Weidmann finally unspools his film, is painfully unfunny.
"America's Sweethearts'" all star cast, therefore, have varying degrees of success bringing this thing to life. Firstly, Julia Roberts must be given credit for creating the most human, audience empathetic, character in Kiki. Long subjected to the petty demands of her spoiled sister, Kiki soldiers on, coordinating hundreds of details lest Gwen encounter reality ('Is that the water with the electrolytes? I only drink water with the electrolytes.') Julia nails the film's best scene, where Kiki finally has her meltdown over a hungry man's breakfast, like the superstar pro she's become. Unfortunately, the flashback scenes which feature her in a fat suit merely make her look stiff.
Most comical of the film's cast is Catherine Zeta-Jones as the high maintenance movie diva. She wheedles and pouts until her supreme unalienable right to be the center of the universe is granted. In a hilarious bit, as Lee is convincing her to attend the junket, we see her Doberman attack a window washer outside, bringing the man to the ground, mauling him. When Lee informs her of this as the huge beast bounds into the room, she coos 'puppy!' obliviously.
The always dependable John Cusack tries to inject his considerable charm into Eddie Thomas. While he's marginally appealing, the character has been so neglected by the writers that he comes across shallowly. Hank Azaria starts off well, doing what appears to be a parody of Antonio Banderas, but his lisping, heavy accent gets wearisome quickly. Crystal's given himself many of his movie's best lines, but he barely breaks a sweat creating his PR guy. Christopher Walken's miscast as the Hal Ashby-like director who edits his films in the Unabomber's shack, which he's had transported to the grounds of his estate. Stanley Tucci is fine as the hand-wringing studio head beholden to Phillips after having fired him, while Seth Green disappears into the background as Lee's protege who was to have replaced him. Alan Arkin amusingly plays the 'Richard Libertini role' of Eddie's self help guru.
The Hyatt Regency Lake Las Vegas Resort is a good location choice for this glossy production, luxurious yet remote. Unfortunately, the cast careening around its grounds keep the audience remote more often than they allow them to luxuriate in classic comedy.
C+
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